a new struggle recentlydiscarded: Im struggling with the whole concept of being alone. I hate sleeping alone especially. My husband was a big cuddler. Now I lay awake for hours before I can even fall asleep.
I dont want to face life without him. Dont want to raise my son without him. Dont want to find a new place to live without him. Dont want to go grocery shopping without him. Dont want to take the kid to the park without him. Dont want to move on without him. Ugh.
Re:a new struggle lookin4alite: Well, I would like to say this is just a nightmare and you can wake up now. But unfortunately it is not and it will take time to heal. There is much heartache to deal with.
Try to start developing yourself for you son's sake. Your son will remember who took care of him and will love you for it.
keep your chin up and release your frustration and fear here at the boards.
lite
Re:a new struggle Tantan: I still going through that phase,but it is starting to get a little easier. Instead of not sleeping at all, i usually make it until 4AM.
I wish there was a magic solution but this is one of the things in life that we just have to live through and face the pain head on. Time is definitly starting to heal for me, I know it will for you.
I find even the simplest things like watching TV seem to remind me of him, so i avoid even that.
I have developed some new routines, for instance I read everynight. Sometimes i read something totally mindless, but that is entertaining and fun, i also have many books on how to grow and develop in life which are quite helpfull right now and also my bible.
I have a new routine for groceries, I have changed stores, the one Im going to now is in front of a McDonalds so i have made it into a big event for my children, we go to eat, they play in the park for an hour, then we go to the store. I really hope you feel better soon, I know you will.
Re:a new struggle Kinney26: A big part of me still feels that way sometimes.
Yesterday I had a breakthrough that I am suffering from loneliness. After a few months now I really believe that I can be happy with someone else. I want my stbx back because it would be convenient and less work and stress than putting myself back into the real world. I still do have feelings for her but I don't need her to be happy. In my position right now it just looks like finding someone else is so impossible, but sitting on my couch isn't going to get me there either. I am still having a very hard time letting go, but lately I've just had the feeling that it is time to start leaving the couch.
How this helps, I don't know. I just started typing and this is what came out.
Re:a new struggle Sorrow: Letting go is always the hardest part.
I'm still trying to let go...even before my ex contacted me recently, I was having a hard time letting go months after the divorce.
I was starting to move on with my life...things were looking better and I was becoming my old self again. But then he just contacted me like yesterday, and suddenly, it all came back again. Like the divorce was just yesterday.
No matter what, he was always there..in the back of my mind and the top of my heart. Letting go is a huge struggle. I realize that I just have to focus and feel that I can heal from this... it just takes time. Time staying up awake, unable to sleep...time spent not wanting to eat, or eating too much, time spent not wanting to exercise or do the things I use to love doing.
It's all a part of the process....I've gone through it, and now it's happening all over again. *sigh*
I guess it's truly now the end since my ex hates me even more.
