How do I prove adultery??
I am here in NY, and I am filing for my own divorce with the grounds of adultery. Every website says how difficult and expensive it is to use adultery as the grounds - even the NY Gov't website says so!
STBX has admitted to adultery. Not only that, he is planning on moving in with her Oct. 1st, stays with her on the weekends that he doesn't have the children, etc. He admitted that he also cheated with other women he met off the internet. I guess I can show he had the opportunity ... although I don't have any emails or such between him and the OW because he contacted them all from work.
Admission is not enough. She doesn't live in the area (yet) and he travels two hours to see her. I have phone bills, but that is it. I can print out my EZ-Pass statement to show that he went there (toll bridge near her house). I have a copy of a poem she wrote to him - typed, with her name and date at the bottom ... but honestly , I doubt that matters because anyone could have typed that up. I have story after story about what he has done, but that isn't enough.
There is no 'irreconcilable differences' in NY. I do not want the one year separation. And I admit, part of me is dying to put the OW's name in my divorce papers I am filing. ;D
So what do you guys think? Any ideas? Will this fly in court?
Kelly
Re:How do I prove adultery?? ChrisJane: My guess is you will need more proof to show he committed adultery. Pictures, things written to her by him, receipts of items he bought for her or motel's.
PI's can be expensive, but you could be sneaky and ttake your own pictures of them together. He has admitted to it so he isn't attempting to hide his relationship so that should be easy to catch them together.
I had a list of the OW to add to my divorce papers, that is part of sweet revenge ;D
Good luck
Re:How do I prove adultery?? LettinGo: Thanks for the advice, CJ.
What about this: I have my EZ Pas statement which shows he went over the bridge to her house (two hours away from our home) at 8 pm, and came back across to come home at 4:40 am the next morning. I have a poem she wrote him dated that date (but typed, like I mentioned before) about handing her heart over to him. I have cell phone bills and my home bill with her number(s), and reverse phone n# printout with her address, as well as two phone calls to a florist in her town when he sent her flowers. Also, he actually bought her a cell phone and ADDED her to our family share plan account, so I will have that on the next statement. I can most likely get my hands on his credit card statements as he is storing a lot of his things in my garage. Is this a start, at least?
I (half) jokingly asked him to pose for a picture with her, but he said no. The problem is that when they are together, most of the time, they are far away. Maybe I can talk to my SIL about seeing if she can get a pic ... she would love to be in on this.
Kelly
Re:How do I prove adultery?? LSFool: Dear LettinGo,
I believe that you need pictures and video.
It would likely be so expensive to prove that the ends would not justify the means and then you are broke as well as brokenhearted.
I have paid out a lot of money to lawyers in order to try to appease my anger, but what happened is that I paid a lot of money and my anger grew. It is punnishing yourself to live with even more anger.
Save your money and your soul. It is not your job to save his.
Get alimony if you want to really get him. Find out if you can get alimony and go after his assetts so that they don't go to the new person in his life.
Also, I don't think that judges care about adultery, they do care about failure to pay alimony! ;D
I will be pulling for you.
LSFool
Re:How do I prove adultery?? amess: LS, you are no fool. Excellent advice, I have to second this, LG. Go for what you rightfully deserve, and that should put a dent in his newfound plans.
