I told her how I really feel Part II Billsfan709: sorry guys, but when you make a vow to REALLY love some one, rub their feet, cook them dinner, give them money, worship them, and this happens..this is what happens..
After I chuck the tomatoes (sp?) across the lawn..she gets the cops at my house..2 hours later..typicall cop speak.."Sir, you are intoxicated (Had 1 beer between ex and cops), you must let her get her stuff. I have hippie parents..and was a fraternity guy in college..do I like cops?..I said "Officer, this is my home, as settled in the divorce settlement, my ex-wife can get her stuff next week..and I Slammed the door in his face (sorry family in law enforcement). So it's done..she still calls she still writes..waht do i DO?
cHRIS
Re: I told her how I really feel Part II atd74: Billsfan,
Yes your situation is very stressed and very weird indeed. However, if she keeps harrassing you get a restraining order point blank. You hate to see it come down to that but if that's what its going to take to get her to leave you alone then do it.
Unfortunately you may have to change your phone number and make it unlisted which is a pain in the a** but it will work. Whether she's writing you via email or in the postal mail obviously don't respond. However, save everything for the police - once you get a restraining order against her and this sh** continues you have proof.
When she comes back to collect her things make sure its all business and then kick her out. That's it... you must take control of the situation and let her know you aren't going to deal with this crap anymore. I know it's hard and you may think easier said than done. But, no one ever said this was going to be easy and the right thing to do is never the smoothest path but a path some have to take none-the-less to save their sanity.
Good Luck...
Re: I told her how I really feel Part II achingallover: Hey Billsfan...I second the motion to get a restraining order. This sounds very unhealthy to me. When emotions are high, people sometimes can't make the best decisions. Really, when your under that much duress, it's a chemical thing as well as a mental/psychological thing. But, I'd do the restraining order. The other thing I'd like to put out there is, when she comes to get her stuff, have a police officer there. They will do that for you if you tell them you are dealing with a hostile divorce. That way, if she tries to get nutty on you, there will be someone there to control the scene.
Geeze, your story sounds just as crazy as mine! :o Hope you are taking care of yourself in this.
Steph
Re: I told her how I really feel Part II Billsfan709: I solved the final confrontation thing by telling her next week the rest of her stuff will be piled neatly in the garage..locked up..I'm giving the remote to my neighbor, who is always there..I will be gone..she can get her stuff..and I don't have to see her. I guess that's some closure..she called yesterday..I wasn't home..no message, but the # was on the caller ID..she has her love of her life BF..why does she still call? A colleague at work, long divorced, suggested getting a dayplanner and documenting each contact, even though "NO" contact was requested (during my cussing her out ;D). Just being careful. What is up? She's "moved on"..why can't she MOVE ON? Is calling and emailing me grounds for a restraining order? If I get one, what happens? We happen to like the same kinds of movies and restaraunts (sp?), what happens if I'm there and she comes in with BF? HELP?
Re: I told her how I really feel Part II achingallover: Yeh, I mean, if you are done with this and she is harrassing you then you've got to put a stop to it anyway you know how. I would document her contacts and attempted contacts to you for sure. If she threatens you in any way, definatley restraining order. If I were you, I would call the local police station and ask them about a restaining order - how it works, if you could put one against her. I'm pretty sure you could if she continues. Uhm, I think the way it works is, if you all are in the same restaurant or something, and you have the restraining order, you can take legal action against her if she freaks out on you there or anything. I'd certainly look into it.
As far as the move on thing - even if she told you she's "moved on" she probably hasn't. She's probably going back and forth about this, hence the calls and such. But, if you all have decided that it's moving on time, then she needs to stop and you need to let her know it. Maybe warn her that you will put a restraining order against her if she doesn't leave you alone - and if she doesn't heed your warning, do it! However, I would not deliver the warning, because it could cause major scene - have someone else do it for you. Or just restrain her! And if it's truely not done...well, then, get thee to a couples therapist! ;)
Good luck with this! Keep yourself sane in this!
Steph
