Update on my Situation fisherman: Those of you that have been around a bit may or may not have read my posts about my situation with my wife...
To summarize, she left me in May and had an affair. In late July she called me and wanted to talk - I would not talk to her until then. We spoke and she said didn't want to get a divorce... Now I'm not (that) stupid - with a pre-trial coming up, and her being in a terrible position financially and emotionally I figured it was nothing but a ploy to stall the process until she was in a better position to fight me.
Anyway, we talked a lot - she was very honest about what had happened, and why she thought it happened. Essentially, the last year and a half of our marriage was a disaster, we fought constantly and never spent time together. She was lonely, and wanted out of the marriage and the OM became her way out. Within a few weeks of her involvement with the OM she was out of the house. I filed for divorce and started seeing other women.
To complicate matters, I was constantly being fed bad information by a "friend" of mine that seemed to have had an agenda of her own.
So to make a long story short, we have decided to work things out. Unfortunately a piece of me is gone, and I will never look at marriage in the same way - but perhaps I was naive and foolish to begin with. Will she break my heart again? Maybe- but there's not enough left to give her for it to be too painful... It takes two to make a marriage work, and this seems to be what she really wants and I'm sure I want it. I've had to change the way I see things a little, and now am helping with chores, dishes, and that sort of thing (which I NEVER did before).
There's a part that still bothers me... I can probably forgive her for leaving (it was either her or I at that point - unfortunately for me I swithed gears and wanted to save the marriage but it was too late). I'm not so sure I can easily forgive her for leaving her children. There was a solid two months that she had very little contact with her kids... Prior to all this her children were her world - even now she reads them stories all the time and makes sure their every need is cared for. What the hell went through her head during that two months???
So I guess this is a close to a "happy ending" as it gets for my situation, I'm certain things will work out in the long run - if I wasn't I wouldn't try. And God willing, you will not fiind me back at this site in a year telling of how I've had to go through this again.
Re:Update on my Situation pauly: Good luck fisherman,I hope it all turns out good for you and your family.
Re:Update on my Situation sadinct: I, too, hope that all turns out well for you. While I don't know what causes people to do the things she's done, I have a great deal of hope for you after reading posts from kickingmyself- a point of view from the other side. If she has arrived at the same place as kicking, then I think you really have an excellent chance. (that plus your desire to make things work, changing to make things better for both of you). It will be difficult to deal with the missing piece, and while things may not be the same again, prehaps they can be good for you both (and your son).
Your posts and advice have helped me over the passed week and a few days- I will try to follow it, as it seems to have worked for you.
Thank you and best of luck-
Doug
Re:Update on my Situation althebrokenman: Hey Fisherman
I went through something rather similar with my EX (you can read my post) but it ended up blowing up in my face ten times more than when she initially left me. I guess my point is be very careful and aware that the situation can easily sour and find yourself lost and alone again, but I think you are already aware of that.
Best of luck
Re:Update on my Situation fisherman: Thanks guys, I'm sure there will be rough spots - we've already been through a few of them... I guess sometimes you need to hit the bottom before you can rise back up, there are a few things that still need to be straightened out - but I'm confident things will work in the long run.
