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Re: Sexual Promiscuity in Teen Girls

Re: Sexual Promiscuity in Teen Girls Tashani03: [quote author=Snkpack link=topic=47254.msg563916#msg563916 date=1186592537">
Several years ago, I read (don't recall where) that young girls lacking any strong male presence in a paternal role run higher odds of becoming sexually promiscuous when they become teens..

Not true. My father was never around much (and when he was, he was a Very Bad Human Being) but I am not promiscuous at all. Neither are my two sisters. I think its a skewed opinion. Its much more based on the morals handed down to the child by the present parent.
snkpack: Several years ago, I read (don't recall where) that young girls lacking any strong male presence in a paternal role run higher odds of becoming sexually promiscuous when they become teens.  Obviously having a low presence father in my daughter's life, this concerns me greatly.

Growing up my father wasn't around much.  This isn't because he didn't want to be, but his job was such that he travelled quite a bit and stayed away from home for extensive periods of time.  He was in the army and he went on one TDY after another.  It didn't affect me strongly enough to cause me to become promiscuous, but it certainly affected my little sister.  Perhaps it is the basic difference in our personalities that she lent much more emphasis on approval from others than I did.  At that point, I was a bit of an anti-conformist.  I raged against the machine.  :D

The article I read proposed that young girls lacking a father figure tend to become promiscuous to obtain masculine approval (trying to recapture a relationship with their absent father) by becoming sexually promiscuous to become more appealing to the opposite sex, thereby obtaining their love and affection.  We're all aware that sex is rarely a lasting binding agent in regards to love so of course eventually the very bait that hooked the fish will eventually become stale and undesirable to a very hungry little trout.  And so the girl uses the same behavior to engage another fish, and the process repeats itself in cycles over and over with the same outcome.  Instead of seeing that this behavior is not working, the girl often deludes herself into believing she's popular, beautiful, sexy, desirable. 

My sister is a case study of this behavior.  She sees a guy she thinks is interesting.  She will lure him in by wearing tube tops and hot pants (normally she wears t-shirts and baggy khakis), have sex with him almost immediately after meeting.  After about two weeks, she's in love and they move in together.  About 3-6 months later, they break up in a Springer-esque "you-broke-in-and-stole-my-pa's-gun-and-pawned-it" fashion.  About 1 - 2 weeks after the break up the process repeats itself again.

My daughter is very much a people pleaser.  She gets great validation from other's praise and she works very hard to obtain their acceptance.  These are normally very desirable traits in children.  She is sweet and mild-tempered for the most part.  But I worry, as all parents should worry.

 WhatWillItTake: i understand the psychosocial phenomenon you're referring to.  but the overt lessons and morals you teach your daughter will be much stronger than any subconscious pull that theory has on her.
 akchic: I'd agree with the article that you read only to a small degree though.  

I believe that sexual promiscuity in teenage girls has more of a corelation with the type of role model their mother provides them...IMO.
 snkpack: I am very hopeful that my example will be enough.  My daughter is (in my opinion) too much of a people pleaser.  It bothers me because I used to be the same way.  It's hard to be a truly happy person when you live for others. 

I am giving my daughter all the tools to be an independent woman.  If you asked her today, she'd tell you she doesn't ever want to get married or have children.  I don't really think I encourage that in her, but I do like that she isn't trapped in the idea that a woman is for breeding and home-making. 

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