How to accept being alone the rest of your life
How to accept being alone the rest of your life Cloud9: Hello everyone. I am so struggling with letting go of wanting someone in my life. Ever since my husband left it has left this gaping hole inside of me that was never there before. I never went from man to man before and it has been 1.8 years since he left. I have not been with anyone and it does not seem like it will ever happen.
I have seen posts on here about a lot of you who are alone and are happy with it. That is where I want to be but I don't know how to get there. I am so lonely and my sex drive is off the charts but I have a feeling if I did meet someone that I would devour him because I am so love-starved. I don't know how to step back from not feeling this way. I do have a life as far as having a job I can support myself and I have my interests and family but I have been wishing/wanting to be with a man. I am so tired of it and I need to find a way to accept being alone the rest of my life. Is it really all that bad to be alone? Why is it so hard to do so? I wish I could get to a place that I did not need to be with a man. Not in a bitter way by all means. I am so tired of putting on a happy face at work when people are talking about their engagements, families and plans when I have to go home to an empty townhouse every night after work. Don't get me wrong I am really happy for all my co-workers but I am sick of feeling sad on the inside about being alone. I just want to be truly happy on the inside being by myself.
Thank you all for reading this.
damagedgoods: Cloud9... I am not sure really what to say. Nothing anyone could say will really make everything "all better". Folks on here always say you have to learn to be happy alone, be happy with yourself. Do things that you love to do. AND then.... when you are not searching desparately for someone to love you, that's when someone will. I really believe this... I really love having someone to share life with, someone I love and respect, someone that loves and respects me, unfortantely that was not my STBXW, she didn't respect or love herself muchless me or anyone else. I've talked with a few people on here, read posts and learned one thing. There are many many loving, respecting, mature men and women in the world. You just have to keep your eyes open to see them.
Get out, experience life, enjoy life, live life.... Don't feel sorry for yourself or worry about being alone forever, if you do that, you will be. Get out there.
Cloud9: Thank you thegoods for your response. Actually I do things that I love to do and three weeks ago I went out of state and met the one person I have always wanted to meet at a seminar he put on. It was a dream come true for me! What I am trying to say is I do have a life outside of wanting someone but I can't get past being sad about it. I want to be happy without ever being with a man again.
damagedgoods: Listen... you have no reason to really believe me or anyone else but if you try to stay positive, make good choices in your life, then positive and good things will happen for you.
I am sad also, in fact writing this stirs up all sorts of feelings in me, I know about the emptiness you feel. I don't focus on it... You have no idea how empowering it feels to go out with friends with zero desire to meet anyone, it may sound odd, but I do not want to meet a woman in a bar. So when I'm out in a bar, I can and do talk with anyone, when I have been approached by women (girls really) It is good not to feel that desperation, to know I am in control of the situation, not my heart, not my dick... my head is in control.
So though I may feel some emptiness in my heart, I refuse to fill it with crap just to make that empty feeling go away.
ronell: I tend to hangout with other singles- I enjoy hearing what else they do- travelling, having awesome experiences, stuff they really like to do- doing it by themselves or in a group. Anyway, every time I start to feel crappy about not having a girlfriend, I quickly recall how miserable I was in a marriage with the wrong person.