How to answer "the question"
How to answer "the question" BankerChick: I've been on the board for about a month and finally went through with the separation. You can real my posts about living with an alcoholic.
So, after I answer the big questions with "we weren't meant for each other" they say, "I'm sorry."
So how should I react? I'm relieved, and much happier now. People really can't realize that someone (especially a woman) can be happier during a separation.
I don't want to get into the details with them of why I am happy, so I just usually make up some story about being too young, grew apart, etc.
Anybody else in the same boat? How do you react to somebody who is sorry you've split when you're not sorry?
notmyself: i simply say that it is 'a blessing in diguise'. sometimes i have said 'these things happen'. besides it isn't really anyone's business, so don't feel like you have to make an excuse or give a reason. you could always say 'i would rather not discuss the past, i am looking toward my future', or something equally optimistic. hope that helps. :)
atd74: It's been a month now since the divorce was final so really no one else has approached me about the "I'm sorries..." etc. I am glad though, because like you I was not sorry. I did my best to save us and he did nothing so I knew I was making the right decision and was at peace.
It still irritates me that people think I should mope and be sad. I'm not! Yes, it is a sad thing - its never easy and its not usually what people want in the end but I am truly, honest-to-God happy with myself now. I am moving on and in fact I have my first date on Friday!
When people used to say they were sorry, I would just say YEP, ME TOO. And be done with it. There were no more questions or sentiments asked or given. The worst is hearing it from people who don't even know you... what do they care, right?
So just give em a short quick, "thank you" or "yep, I am too but it's for the best...." and be done with it. ;D
down2basics: LOL! As I said in my original post, even my boss was happy that I split from my x! I was so amazed at how many people asked me "What took you so long?"
And now, months later, I sometimes have those weak moments where I consider going back. If I even whisper this to anyone - the universal response is..."Oh no you don't!!! I don't think so!!"
People didn't really tell me "I'm sorry" or anything like that. They told me - "Hey - happy for ya!" And you know what? I was happy for me too! :D Just as you are!