I Feel Like an Outsider Red_Fusion: There are very few people I know or ever hear of who have fantastic relationships with their in-laws. Well, I was one of those lucky people who was fortunate enough to have a great relationship with my in-laws.
Unfortunately (and I guess obviously), pending divorce has thrown in a real kink into this relationship. I miss my in-laws terribly. They say I will always be family to them, and will always be there for me, divorced or not. They are the closest thing I have to a family in fact. I just don't see how I could hold on to this relationship when I will always have to hear about the S2BX. You know...when he gets remarried, when he has children, when anything significant happens.
My father-in-law is having surgery tomorrow. This isn't a serious, life-threatning surgery, but I would still like to be there for him. Any kind of surgery is always a risk. They were always there for me.
Then, my S2BX is having surgery on Friday. I guess the Other Woman will be there for him.
I feel like such an outsider now. I want to help, I want to "be there", but I guess I'm not needed that way anymore.
And all of this hurts and makes me tremendously sad. :(
Red Fusion
Re: I Feel Like an Outsider barelybreathing: It will have to be something you have to gage over time......collateral damage from divorce on the extended families is hard. I can tell you that when my brother divorced his wife, in the beginning it was uncomfortable, especially since she had numerous affairs, but now it is very comfortable. Your ex's family were part of your life and you can't dismiss them. Recognize that time will lesson the uneasiness but by all means, make an appearance for your father-in-law with his surgery. If it can't be in person right now, do so through flowers.......again, it is something you have to gage.....how bitter was the divorce?
Re: I Feel Like an Outsider DelinquentGurl: I totally understand what you are going through, because I am having a hard time with this as well. I've always had a fairly good relationship with my inlaws, as well as my husbands grandparents, and perhaps that is one of the reasons I am having such a hard time with this. My inlaws did tell me also that I will always be family, but I know once my ex has moved on and met someone else that I wont be the same rank that I once was. I cry at night thinking of the holidays, with all of them getting together for Christmas, except me. It is something I just have to deal with, because I cant change it.
Re: I Feel Like an Outsider Lisaf: I used to think I had a decent relationship with my in-laws...apparently not! They were in town last month and I didn't hear a whisper from them. I suspect no one wants to face me now that my ex is living with his OW... but but but...you'd think as the mother of their grandchildren, I would at least warrant a hello!
