advice for the newcomer please love4sharks: Hello,
I am 25 year old woman who has been divorced, has a 4 year old daughter, and has recently got remarried. I really need some advice. I am at my witts end with my ex. When I left, our daughter was barely a year. Visitation was every other day. As the years have progressed, the visitations have changed. We share 50/50 custody. He pays nothing and I have asked for nothing.
My problem is the inflexibility my ex has. I feel like he is always in control because I want to avoid a fight and just agree to whatever he wants. We changed the scheduling because he went to school on the weekends and couldn't see our daughter during the week. That schedule never worked for me, but I did it to help him. Now, I am in school and I can no longer have her every weekend when that is the only time I can work. I tried to have him switch to every other week, but he is adamant against it stating it will only hurt our little girl. I tried to get him to switch days so I could have her mon, tues, weds, and every other sunday.....but he said that would ruin his entire scheduling and he would have to think about it. Has anyone had experience with every other week visitation? Please help me to learn the good and bad side of it.
My daughter starts prekindergarten in 2 weeks and I would also like to have her go to school more. As of right now, she only goes once maybe twice a week. He won't drive her 10 minutes to this daycare so she goes somewhere else when she's with him.My goal is to provide structure and stability to my daughter. Make her feel comfortable and at home. But it is difficult to do that when by the time she has adjusted to our home, she leaves to go back to her dad's. Please help me figure out a schedule that would benefit my daughter the most.Thank you
Re: advice for the newcomer please down2basics: What a freaking nightmare!
However, you must remember something here...if you have primary custody of your child (even in a 50/50 - someone is primary...) then you can "help" him decide on the schedule...
What I mean is this...
Figure out what your schedule is....you already know his...see which days match, etc. Then you can work out an amicable schedule. If none of them match, then it's time to put your foot down!
How is your current spouse responding to all this chaos?
