Re:Split after 11 years MR F: Hi,
Apologies for not posting for while.
Thought I would come back in and tell you that my wife and I are back together again! We got back just before Christmas and things are going ok.
I have come to realise that I was confusing not loving my wife with not being happy with our relationship. We both realise we need to work on making it a success, and I know that I have to do a lot of work on myself, which is why I am continuing with the counselling.
Thanks for your previous help and support.
MR F.
Re:Split after 11 years OldSchool: Well that's the type of post that makes me happy. That's great for you and I hope the best for you.... have a great 2005. Kick some arse... and take it a day at a time. You'll enjoy it better. :)
OS
Re:Split after 11 years lifechange: I too am NOT picking a fight.....just picking your brain.
When you posted your story, I was sure you were my stbx! Our stories are eerily similar. So here is my question: If you are not interested in seeing someone else, what are you looking for? My stbx left for the EXACT same reason as you did so I am really curious as to what the motivator is.....
Thanks!
lc
Re:Split after 11 years richmds: I dont know what I should say.
If you think you dont love her and never did than do what you feel you must, but be easy on everyone. Right now you may be neutral or happy with your decision, but there are others in a world of pain you cant imagine.
At least do what you can to get them stable again so they can move on a be healthy. Or cut contact if thats what is needed, either way make sure the kids and ex-wife are ok before cutting loose.
I want to say you should stick around but honestly if I knew my spouse did not love me but was doing it for pity or some false reason that wouldnt be good either.
Split after 11 years MR F: I have recently spilt from my wife after 11 years of marriage and feel terrible. We both met when we were 16 years of age and had our first child by the age of 18 and our second when we were 21. We are both now almost 35 and I have left home and living with a relative.
My wife says she is still very much in love with me, but unfortunately I don't feel the same way and to be honest I have never really been deeply in love with her. I have tried to work at our relationship over the years, but always in the back of mind I have known that I didn't want to spend the rest of my life with this person.
I suppose we shouldn't have married really, but 11 years ago I had an enormous shock when I found out that she had planned a surprise wedding several weeks before it was due to take place. Initially I didn't want to , but felt I would be doing the right thing.
I had always planned to stay with my wife until both of our children had grown up and then I would try and make a new life for myself. Recently however we had a major argument during which she said that she felt that I didn't love her anymore. I couldn't go on lying to her any longer and told her that I didn't. I left that day and she was devastated. Telling my children that I was moving out is the hardest thing I have ever had to do, they were also very upset.
My wife has said that she wants me to move back and to try and make another go of it. I would love to move back if just for the sake of the kids but know that this would be for the wrong reason.
I feel at rock bottom at the moment due to all the upset I have caused, but couldn't go on living a lie. I have nowhere to live as yet and don't know what the future holds. I just hope that it doesn't have too much an adverse affect on the children, this is what really concerns me.
Thanks for listening.
