my son and her boyfriend drywallputeruper: on my visitation days ,all my three year old boy talks about is my wifes boyfriend.we have been seperated for only thirty days.she said she needed to get space from me.what a shock this is .this is hard for me to hear that he loves his new dada.he says he is nice .i cant take this .what do i say to him about this?this guy was suppose to be my friend and he snuck in my house to see my wife ,and now she wants a divorce.i am angry .but i still love her .even though she has been really mean about this whole thing,holding him from me and saying you will never see him again.i had to get a visitation order.she was saying she loved me a month ago then all this bs.iam trying to protect him from this evil thing called divorce .she is using him as a pawn,she is thinking of herself.
Re: my son and her boyfriend kl: drywall,
I am not in your shoes but can only offer support. I feel badly for you that your wife is vindictive and she uses your son as a pawn. You said that your son is three. Children at that age are very impressionable. He probably doesn't have the faintest idea what is truly happening around him. You might be able to look at that as a positive thing??!! My daughter is 9 and I have had to tell her the truth about things. I never speak badly about her father nor do I let her in on all the conversations that her dad and I have. She has been hurt through this whole thing and all I can do is be there to pick up the pieces. Your son knows that you love him. Just be there for him and know that your wife's boyfriend is only a person that knows your son. I know that you are hurting but try to be the adult in this picture. Your son will love you for that! You are in my prayers. KL
Re: my son and her boyfriend scardycat30: I cannot believe that it has only been 30 days and she has already brought someone new in your sons life. So selfish. My ex and I have not lived 2gether since August. Our Divorce was final 12/16. I would not dream (neither would he) of bringing someone into our boys lives right now. I don't think I will ever let them know anyone I choose to date until I am sure that person will be permanant in our lives. And I would never never keep my boys from seeing thier Dad - no matter how angry I am at him. Why would I punish them for his and my mistakes. He has the boys almost as much as I do. Way more than our custody agreement. She needs to get her head out of her a** or his and put your son first.
Sorry - that just makes me boil.
Re: my son and her boyfriend Lisaf: Wow...I think the question of when to introduce the kids to a new partner is an interesting one...I've been struggling a bit myself lately!
Drywall...my ex moved his girlfriend (formerly my best friend) in 4 months after I left. My kids have known her their whole lives. My 3 yr old son recently referred to K's girlfriend as Mommy the other day. Luckily my 5 year old daughter corrected him pretty quickly. And my mom had a little chat with him about who was Mommy and who was Daddy...just a gentle one mind you. Hurt like hell though! All I can say is that I can totally relate to that pain!
For myself...I am seeing someone and he has met the kids, but I am keeping them very much separate at the moment. Basically he will see them for dinner or an outing every two weeks or so...and not much more than that for a very long time. The reason I have chosen to do this was that I knew I wouldn't be able to make a decision about keeping him in my life until I had seen how he and my kids would interact. They are such a huge part of my life that if they hadn't liked him or vice versa it would have ended the relationship immediately.
Just my humble opinion...as always.
