No Wonder I am going Crazy itwillgetbetter: So today the idiot instant messages me the weblink for the divorce. So we are im-ing each other. He says he wants the divorce as much as me. I say I doubt that and he has no idea how much I want the divorce. I tell him he thinks he can just waltz back whenever he wants and get me back. Then he starts saying he wants to try again. (He already moved out once; live in his car for 3 mos.; moved back; moved out again and has been out for 9 mos.---we have been married a little over 2 years)
So I did tell him if he wanted to walk the dog he could walk HIS DOG (the hussy gf). He tells me I treated him well and he wants to work it out. That I make him want to be something better -----blah blah blah. He tells me he will start today and it can be how I want etc....
The whole IM conversation started with the divorce stuff and ended with him wanting to get back with me. I told him I had a meeting and had to go.
Now I have a migraine. Thanks for the hints on getting rid of anger in my earlier post of 'Jumbled Feelings'. I think I will put on my running shoes and run until I collapse! The thing is when I run I just think about him and I just want to clear my head of him. He does not DESERVE any room in my brain!
WHAT A F-ING BASTARD!!! You don't know me but I NEVER talk like that. AHHHHHHH UGGGGHHHHHH!
Just sign me TOTALLY PISSED! (can't believe I typed that either)
Re: No Wonder I am going Crazy justmenow: Gee, that's funny...it almost sounds like he think's HE's in control of this situation. I think you need to give him an education. >:(
Re: No Wonder I am going Crazy itwillgetbetter: Originally, I would have done anything to make my marriage work. I really believed all the for better for worse; in sickness and in health.
About 2 months ago, I played hardball and told him to stop contacting me. About 2 weeks ago, I told him NEVER to call me again and if he didn't understand I would be glad to have the police explain it to him. I set the parameters for the divorce; he would pay for the entire divorce and I would file -- he agreed. The more I stuck to my guns, the more he wants to work it out. I think he knows I am calling the shots not him anymore. I think it is because of this he wants to leave gf and come back to me. What an A-hole.
I am glad I am pissed because if I wasn't I would probably be tempted to try again. I never thought I would say it but I CAN"T WAIT TO BE DIVORCED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Re: No Wonder I am going Crazy atd74: itwillgetbetter,
I could definitely feel your anger in this post and that's good - get it out whatever way you can but don't let it eat you up inside. If he IM you again simply don't respond. If you must respond about the divorce paperwork or finances then that is fine but after that cut him off.
He's reeling you in knowing you are keeping on with your end of the conversation. Take a deep breath and just say, goodbye and shut him off. He's being a manipulative son of a b***h by telling you first he wants this as much as you but then begging to work things out.
My ex did the same damn thing - calling about something important and then trying to keep me on the phone talking until it led into him balling and begging and pleading. Or agreeing with me that, yea, this is the best thing but turning around and asking for a second chance...
Don't give him any more opportunites... and you'll save yourself a lot of grief.
Re: No Wonder I am going Crazy barelybreathing: Stop........take a deep breath.
Okay, itwillgetbetter, you just tried to communicate the crazy language and you have not learned that language.
You can't do it. You can't! In my own situation, once I stopped trying to talk crazy with him was when it all settled down.
Tale control. You are not crazed where he is at. He has his own translation book. Take control of the conversations and how you respond to them.
He threw you a lifeline and you head was spinning so much that you could not even see it. Instead you focused on the divorce talk instead of the healing part.
You are the stronger one, so use it to stop the madness. You will go crazy if you continue to try to interpret his new language. Forget it. Can't do it.
BB
