strugling mcguy: my wife and step kids left 2 month ago this weekend when i was out of town. we were just married this summer and they lived here since last spring. i waited till now to get hitched because i never wanted to go through this. her x left her 3-03 for another woman and remarried the day after the divorce was final. since he has had no contact with kids. or her. i knew she was tramatized and there would some problems but i thought that i could help her work them out. she knew what my core value on marriage was when we first talked about it.
a few days after she left she came over to explain allot was said and i think she was looking for excuses. she said that it was over and she was filling papers (whitch has not been done yet) it took her 3.5 weeks to rent a place while she and the kids were staying with friend. it took another 3 weeks before she moved anything kids toys or anything. she still has alot here and the oldest room is still pretty much in tact.
we only talk briefly once a week or two .the other night she appoligized for not geting more done and it would be a least a few before she could but also wanted to invite me up for dinner one of these days.
i am in good communication with her family while she is still avoiding them her family is sic over this
she has also admitted to others that no one has ever treated her so good, infact i spoiled the crap out of them
i still love her and the kids very much
but it is getting hard to wake up in the morning and nothing to do at night except lift weights
i do know that when they were here it was the happiest time of my life and the most hectic.
this was going to be the first christmas that i looked forward to in 25 yrs
thanks jim
Re:strugling amess: I am so sorry you are going through all of this. Most here know the extreme heartache of being left, and the shock that ensues. I, too, thought that the last year of my marriage was going to be rocky, but never could I have conceived of divorce. There were times in there that I could have kept the marriage together, but I felt so beaten down, that I caved in. I don't know what went on in your relationship, but I can empathize with the feeling of missing Xmas with your wife and family. This is so hard, and I would expect, even harder if this was to be your first. Maybe she hadn't healed enough from her last marriage, but I am so sorry that it had to turn out this way. Is there any chance of talking to her, of counseling, or is she definite, and what are her reasons? We're here for your support.
Re:strugling mcguy: well we never argued, she wouldn't let me in emotionally anymore. she thinks she is to smart and her pride is stopping us. she does not think she needs counsiling and since she has been through this before and did it on her own she thinks that i should. two week after she was telling some of the locals that i need to get over it, (small town no stop light) but she does not remember how long it took her, she still has a problem. i do know that she is not messing around. she has hormonal problem or something and relationships are not the thing she wants. she thinks that being by herself with the kids is what will make her happy even though she can't pay bills.
i don't know????
thanks jim
