Your Daily Horriblescopes. 12/13/04 RecoveringinDE: YOUR DAILY HORRIBLESCOPE –
Aries (March 21 - April 19)
Good day to get a potted plant for your office, which you should name "Throckmorton." (The plant, not the office. Obviously, "Throckmorton" is a completely inappropriate name for an office. "Wiggins" is a good name for your office, if it doesn't already have a name.)
Taurus (April 20 - May 20)
Don't do that. Your face could get stuck that way. Oh, I'm sorry. I hadn't realized it already did...
Gemini (May 21 - June 20)
Today you'll start a new rock group, named "SPAM Catapult", and kick things off with a really smokin' number combining the best aspects of reggae, rap, and polka.
Cancer (June 21 - July 22)
You will find yourself using a very old spreadsheet program, soon. So old, in fact, that the columns have to be either Doric, Ionic, or Corinthian.
Leo (July 23 - August 22)
Good time to wear WAY too much cologne. Well actually, that's generally not a problem for people who wear cologne. Usually, they have no sense of smell. (Oh come on - you think they'd do that on purpose??)
Virgo (August 23 - September 22)
Excellent day to go into politics. Make up a new government position, such as "Regional Manager, Dept. of The Posterior", and put up hundreds of posters of yourself. With any luck, it will be years before anyone notices that there is actually no such job.
Libra (September 22 - October 22)
You will meet someone who you haven't seen in a long time, and will barely recognize them. At least not without the spiked collar and the whip.
Scorpio (October 23 - November 21)
If you love someone, let them go. If you hate someone, grab 'em and hang on like a dog with a stick. Snarl a bit, too -- that's always fairly effective.
Sagittarius (November 22 - December 21)
It's time to tell your friend to quit wearing that ridiculous goatee. Why not recommend a sheepee, instead?
Capricorn (December 22 - January 20)
You will be plagued by feelings of inadequacy, and will have a feeling of ennui mixed with malaise. But don't let it get you down!
Aquarius (January 21 - February 18)
You will find yourself in a huge hand basket, before the end of the day, and it will be getting much warmer than you like.
Pisces (February 19 - March 20)
Time to make a bold new fashion statement. What's the reason for matching socks, anyway? Why are people so obsessed with sartorial symmetry?
Re:Your Daily Horriblescopes. 12/13/04 MadorSad: I tryed mine but it did not feel right ::) But I'm happy I did it :D
Re:Your Daily Horriblescopes. 12/13/04 jen: I love today's horriblescope for Taurus...I do make some pretty bad faces sometimes...but now I am all smiles!
Re:Your Daily Horriblescopes. 12/13/04 RecoveringinDE: Wonder if I should try mine *smirk* Scorpio. ROFL.
Re:Your Daily Horriblescopes. 12/13/04 jen: What sign are you MoS so I can know which one you tried... ;)
