Moore hurt why MadorSad: Question
We all say on this site be strong takecare of your self do it for yourself. The SO's chant the mantra it is your falt you did this you did that you were not here when I needed it you sucked the life out of me ............
Well I took the advice I did it for myself I did it for the kids I did it for the family I DID THE RIGHT THING ;D and I'm glad I took the advice and I prowd that I see the good and not the bad I work on it every day and ya know what it makes my days better and it has made a big differance in me I feel like the guy everybody like and wanted to be around people just stop to talk to me to get a laugh or yes this is hard to think but they stop buy to get yelled at by me :o
Now I have found that the SO thinks I have done this just to make her look bad in fact it makes her mad to look at me to see me this way ??? This comes with and explination a simple one WHY DID YOU NOT DO THIS BEFORE ?
I ask you my friends why did we not do this before.........
And has anyone been to this stage and for that matter this stage hurts just as bad as the others god tell me when the hurt stops!!!!!!!!
Mad
Re:Moore hurt why in_search_of: Why did we not do this before....perhaps, its something as simple as it took losing someone you loved to realize that you actually needed to change. Perhaps only at that point could you realize what you needed to do for you.
If my ex was doing some of the things that he is doing now, while we were married, we might still be married. But it took him being out on his own to feel like he really had the strength and courage to do those things. So the best thing I could do for him was let him go, to let him learn those things.
Re:Moore hurt why Spectrum: Hmm.....
Well, if I had taken control of my life before, it would have meant dropping every single life plan I'd spent 5 years developing. It would have meant rocking the boats of several of my family members seemingly "without reason." I would have been out in the creek without a paddle or a leg to stand on.
Emotionally I would have been in trouble, because I know it was hard enough to deal with my ex telling me, "You're hurting me. This is your fault we're hurting and if you take me back it will all go away," even though I knew what a liar and cheater he was.
Truth be told, I'd already begun the mental process of leaving him, although I'd given it a timeline of two years about six months before I discovered the cheating and left. Just giving myself that timeline gave me some internal strength I thought I'd lost along the way. Would I have left him in two years if things hadn't improved? I would like to think so, but you never really know, do you?
I guess we're just like everyone else.... it is hard to imagine and *believe* there is something so much better out there for you when you haven't yet hit bottom.
Spectrum.
Re:Moore hurt why MadorSad: Good point ISO but I was on my own I did it alone I ate mac & chesse for a week before payday. I lived in some bad places (World wide) I missed X-mass and B-days and tonns of little things I know that side I was alone and on my own and yes I was young very young for what I was doing but I did it. Just think I lost the fear after all that and it showed. I have seen the bad it is the good that I missed ???
I'm wafting now but do you see the point cause I'm missing it I think. :-\
Re:Moore hurt why 2brix: I believe that people can not be made happy by the improvement of others. The old phrase that comes to mind is "one hates most in others what they hate most about themselves". My first ex thought that I was doing nothing around the house or with the children when we were married. Most of my friends asked why I always was busy cleaning house or looking after the creeps. Well she got even more upset after her and I split and I spent every moment I had with the kids as best I could. I believe that when you improve yourself others who have critisized you will move from being angry with your behavior to being jelous of your success and their continued dislike of themselves. Please stay strong for yourself even if it hurts right now.
