I feel alone is their any men out there in my position?

I feel alone is their any men out there in my position? lostinMNwSon: I am a nice guy, I continue to get used. I admit that I am an easy mark. I am generous and my heart leads my life. I feel all alone because I am the one that made a choice for my son to be a good husband. I had urges I think everyone does. My wife did too. She did act upon those urges though many times. I read post after post from woman who have been cheated on. What about the men. I am not saying that men who have cheated are right. But I need some advice from men who have been cheated upon. I want out. I want to have her new boy toy be my sons father, Its easy I know but I do I want out.
WHY???!!!
Jeff
Re:I feel alone is their any men out there in my position? Lumpy: Dear Lost,

I too was cheated on (I am a man) and can somewhat relate to your dilemma. One thing I'm abit taken aback by is the comment you made regarding your son. Why would you want the OM to be your sons' father? Your fatherhood is one thing she can never take from you! I know right now it feels like she has taken your dignity, your self-esteem, self-confidence, etc but those will be regained with time. Whatever you do don't let this situation effect you and your sons' relationship negatively. Spend as much time as you can with him. This will help you as much as it will him. Stay Sane.
Re:I feel alone is their any men out there in my position? hardened_heart1970: well, im a man, and i have the same problems as you. wife left, cheated w/exbf, driving us insane. around this board there are all good people who listen and lend a hand to help. this has helped keep me sane so far.

did you possibly leave out some words when you said that about your kid? i think you meant to say you didnt want her new boy toy to be his dad. i dont think another man, or woman should be there for a quite a while after the divorce, as its hard for kids to adjust. my stbxw is doing that to me, and in maine there is nothing i can do about it, unless they fu*ck in front of them. well i have wait and sit here all alone and distraught.....
Re:I feel alone is their any men out there in my position? dj: Lost in MN,

I am a man (from Mn as well) whose wife cheated on him. She became very unhappy in July of 2003 but silly me didn't notice. She has had other issues that made it so I went about blissfully unaware of her unhappiness. Then, in steps a new friend and teaches her how to meet guys online. She began to meet guys in real life last November, met her current boyfriend in february, decided in March she needed to find herself (I still didn't know about her bf) and at the end of may my bro-in-law told me that she had a bf. Needless to say...I felt what you are feeling. Anger. Betrayal...hate even. These are very natural feelings. Now, what you do with them is what matters.

A few questions. How long ago did you discover the affair? Are you currently separated? Living together still?

There is alot of pain and anger that you will need to work through in the coming months. If possible, try and find a therapist...it helped me tremendously. Now is not the time for you to "be the man". It helps to get this crap out of your system. Continue to post and read here. This is a wonderful site filled with many outstanding people. Ojar has also helped me big time.

Please, feel free to pm me anytime you need. I came from where you are coming from...

dj