I just don't understand...
The ex drops off our daughter & I had just gotten locked out of my house so I ask him to try to get in for me (not a smart move but I had 3 kids & groceries to get in) so anyway he brilliantly (must have practiced I tell ya) breaks in.. says I owe him a hug.. I say no just a thank you.. then he makes yet another comment on how I Really should let him play with my new acquirement in the chest area.. I just roll my eyes..
I then find out he has a cell phone.. I always had one b4 but cant afford it now & that he is getting a computer.. I said "What? Are you trying to be LIKE me now? " and I swear you guys.. he looked at me like.. yes he is.. What is he gonna start wearing makeup and heels next?
I just wish .. wish.. that it didnt have to be like this.. That somehow we could talk rationally.. and I know in my heart that will never happen.. that he will never let go.. I know I left but it wasnt on the spur of the moment.. We had many the fight & screaming matches.. abuse.. I tried .. I REALLY REALLY did.. and I guess as soon as I get that through my head.. I will be better..
I suppose a part of me is jealous of him.. that in order to better my life.. I get stuck with no job, no car, bills out the wazoo, minimal social life & 3 kids under my feet all day.. and he .. is flaunting money , and everything that goes with it. I suppose although Im flatbusted these days I have the ultimate.. My freedom.. and it will get better.. I just want the ex to go away though.. b/c he brings me down no matter how hard I try to make myself believe otherwise. Anyway, I feel as if this is making no sense .. I just needed to ramble.. I havent come to understand how he & I ever ended up together or lasted 5 years...
It just baffles me.... ::) ::)
Re:I just don't understand... Anna: Actually, you aren't flatbusted anymore, right? ;D
I hear you on the 3 young children underfoot, but on the plus side, we have 3 young children underfoot! I have the pleasure/responsibility of raising my children while my ex H enjoys his new life/wife and is a father 4 days a month. They make tons of money together, and I'm struggling on a budget. But I'd take my life anyday.
It sounds like you need to be really clear with him so he doesn't have any hope to hang on to, and time will help matters tremendously. There is something horrible about being rejected that makes us act in ways we wouldn't normally, so hopefully he will pull out soon once he has a little time behind him. Good luck with everything!
Re:I just don't understand... hurtingverymuch: pisces, my heart goes out to you. Your x sounds like a real @ss!!
He needs to get it through his head that ... hello ... there is no hope and to get on with his life! You're a strong, intelligent, good hearted, and fun person and don't let him bring you down!
As far as kids and being on a budget goes I know what that's like, and the s2bx having enough to be able to get the things he wants and not have to worry. But I agree with Anna, I wouldn't trade places with him for all the money in the world.
Sorry to hear that you're having a bad time and hope everything works out for you and settles down. Maybe you need to get aching to send you some Paxil. :)
Re:I just don't understand... atd74: Pisces,
Are you sure a couple of laced up muffins wouldn't do the trick? ;D
I'll tell ya what - I'll even bake em my damn self and send them to you free of charge... Make sure he eats them all though so that he's unconscious when we stuff his sorry a** in the back of that Caddy.
SMILE : )
Re:I just don't understand... pisces_goddess: Thanks everyone ..as usual! You know you guys mean so much to me!! ;D
yeah the ex is a trip..a very bad one at that! *L*
And atd.. I will let you send the muffins & I wont ask whats in em.. just give them to him.. perhaps I will serve them to him on my new "rack" just so I can torture him before I stuff him in the caddy.. ( I am so kidding..but revenge is a sweet thought) ..
Im still tryin to find achy & that damn paxil.. she must be pushin it from a new location or hiding out & hoarding it all to herself!! ;D
The once again sweet...