who to tell? inebr: My h and I separated on Tues and I was wondering how you all have found the best way to deal with telling people "what's going on" in your life, especially when things are/were up in the air.
Some people from work asked me out and I plan on going but they keep saying to bring h along. I just say, "well, I'll be there, but I can't speak for him" or "I don't know what his plans are tonight", which aren't lies. I guess I just don't feel comfortable disclosing the details to them. Maybe at some point I will. It is just a little sad, though, too becuase some of the people I have seen this summer haven't even seen me since I got married. So there are people still congratulating me on my marriage! ...it makes me feel a little sad to say "thank you" but it just doesnt' feel right to say anything else...
inebr
Re: who to tell? atd74: inebr,
Eventually you will have tell certain people what is going on however, I wouldn't sweat not telling co-workers. I think you are handling your co-worker situation very well actually. Unless you have one or two good friends at work whom you can confide in I don't think you should feel obligated to tell people at work your situation at home. Make up whatever story you have to - it's none of their business.
When the time is right, IF the time is right you will know whom to disclose this very personal info to how, and when. Do what makes you feel comfortable and telling people at work may make you feel even more uncomfortable...
Re: who to tell? achingallover: yah, I'm with atd74. Keep it as ambiguous as you need. You do not owe anyone any explanation. No need to self-disclose unless you feel comfortable doing so. Your friends who are close to you, share with them - but acquantences, don't worry about. Go with your gut - trust yourself through this.
When my husband said he wanted a divorce - he wanted a divorce! I asked for a serperation, and sorta would still like that, but he's he!! bent on divorce. I hope you all can work this out and get into a healthy relationship with each other. Best of luck to you!
Re: who to tell? dominowin: yeah, i think it comes organically, though never comfortably. My s2bx belonged to a lot of the same professional organizations, for example, and at conferences there was no easy way to get around it, so mostly eventually I just started blurting it out if people asked. It was awkward but inevitable. However, you absolutely don't have to do it till *you're* ready.
