One day atalose: I wish I understood my feelings better
I wish I knew why weeks will pass and emotionally I feel fine and then out of the blue I start thinking about you, remembering our past together, and wondering why it had to end. I end up feeling emotionally drained, wondering what will happen to me now, how you found it so easy to move on with life (or so it seems), do you ever think of me and wonder how I am now, do you ever have those moments when I creep into your thoughts bringing back memories of all that we shared? I could never understand why you felt it had to be this way, I still don't. I think back on our marriage and yes I guess you can say we had problems but nothing major, it all seems so minor. Why did you not come and talk to me, "Why", I ask myself that the most. Our lives could have turned out differently had you. I never understood why I have never felt anger towards you (yes I had my moments of anger while we tried to come to agreements to settle our divorce) but never anger for the divorce itself, what youve to me, my family, my children most of all. When I do reflect on our life together I do remember with a smile though a sad one, I have no regrets spending the best part of my life with you, I ask myself do I still love you, I believe that I still do I believe a part of me always will but I also know that I dont love you with the passion of one inlove. Are my feelings natural at this point in my after divorce stage? I dont know, will I be able to truly move forward in my life feeling the way I still do and with me still asking myself what went wrong with us? I want to find peace and I want to be content by being by myself. I know that I want more out of life but I worry because of the way I feel, my insercurities, my demolished dreams, this dark empty feeling that overcomes me just when I feel that I'm content with life. One day I hope...............
Re:One day CoryL: Sounds like you are on a good path. Stay strong!
Keep your head up.
Re:One day atalose: Thanks CoryL!
Somedays are better than others but I've made it this far.......
