Re:Pain abelarde: [quote author=Croutonic link=board=1;threadid=7031;start=0#msg56347 date=1106153879">
I don't know who I am without her.
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We all feel your pain and honestly it's going to get worse before it gets better. Know it will get better though and when it does you're going to start to discover parts of yourself you never even thought existed. No healthy relationship requires you to sacrifice your identity to maintain it unless you're wife is the Borg Queen.
Welcome and try to stay strong.
Pain Croutonic: My wife of 8 years told me two days ago that she was in love with someone else and wanted to get a divorce. She's the love of my life and she says that I was hers. We'd had arguments over the last several months, about how I wasn't paying as much attention to her as I should have, wasn't being as affectionate as I should have, but it never occurred to me that she would want to end the marriage. I wanted to grow old with her.
To make things more complicated, the man she's in love with has been living in our house for the last 2 weeks. He was living with his parents but was kicked out of his house because he said that he was in love with a married woman. My wife convinced me to let him stay with us until he could find someplace else. On Monday morning, they were fooling around in the living room while I was still asleep, and I found out about it. They're both gone now, but we have animals that need attention, so she'll be here for the next two months as she and the new guy find a new place to live that can accomodate the animals.
Now that I know what the problem was, I'd give anything to fix it, turn back the clock, give her what she needs. I want a second chance because I still love her. I feel like an idiot, because I didn't realize what I had, what the most important thing in my life was...until it was gone.
She says she loves him and that he wants her to marry him. They've only known each other since August. I don't think there's any chance that we can get back together, but I don't know what to do with myself. I don't know who I am without her.
Re:Pain althebrokenman: Hey Man
Listen, essentially the same thing happened to me only I found out later. My advice to you is move on, as hard as this may seem move on and find yourself. It sounds like you depend on her for you happiness and identity which is detrimental to yourself and to anyone you have a relationship with. If you do not want to move on, you will hurt more it is just the way it is. In fact, your best bet at reconcilliation (which I do not advise) is to leave her alone and show her you do not need her.
Good luck and remember you will, without a doubt survive this. It will probably be the worse period in your life but you will recover.
Re:Pain Shanna: You know there is a good chance you weren't doing anything different or wrong to her....
GOOD CHANCE she was taking things you do and blowing them out of proportion to ease her guilt for cheating. Even if you had given more she still would have left bc she wanted to be with him. It isnt' your fault. That is one of the hardest things to learn when cheated on. I was NO WHERE near perfect as a wife, but that is not excuse for cheating ....that is just a good reason for counseling.
Take care of yourself.
Re:Pain Terry: When someone cheats......it's for selfish reasons! I could definately understand a relationship breaking up if there's no one else involved! Then it's for real reasons! But when they want to go because there's someone else.... that's immature and selfish!
It's time for you to be 'selfish' with yourself! You need to imediately start thinking for you! It is true that you can't be anything to anyone until you are happy with yourself and as strong as you can be!
I wish you strength!!
