How to i tell my 5 yr old that we are separating? isuat: I am pretty sure that me and hubby are separating this weekend - I have found a place for me and daughter to live - she is just 5. My question is that I have no clue how to tell her. I am moving 45 minutes away from hubby - to the town that I work in. I really want to try to make this as easy on her as possible. She is in preschool here 3 days a week - MWF. I thought about her staying with hubby for sun, tue, and thurs night and me mon and wed and work out the rest - at least as a transition period. Is this too much back and forth? Or should i just try it and see how it goes? I just really have NO clue what to do.
Re:How to i tell my 5 yr old that we are separating? JTS: isuat
I'm sorry to hear about your situation. As the parent you know them best and will know if it is not working for her or not. I did a lot of research on kids and divorce when mine began and I will share what I learned but remember that each situation and each child is different.
Be honest with her on what is happening without going into any of the details but don't ever talk bad about her father. I told my 3 that mom and dad still love them very much but sometimes mommys and daddys just can't live together and we had decided that it is best if we live in different places. I was told by a couple of counselors that you need to keep as much stability as possible in their lives and it is preferable if you don't move them from their friends or support system that they currently have. My question to you would be if you have any family in the new town you are going to for her. Moving her away from all her friends and any family may be very hard on her if she is going to a place where everyone is a stranger to her. Also, have you thought of future custody arrangements? If you are considering joint physical custody then it is going to be difficult being that far from you husband should you decide to continue living apart once she starts going to school every day next year. I can understand why you would want to switch days like that for her preschool right now but that is a lot of moving. My arrangement is Monday and Tuesday with me, Wednesday and Thursday with her, and Friday through Sundays alternate. The judge really didn't like this arrangement but finally agreed to it. The courts in Michigan prefer to do a week on/week off with joint custody to lessen the back and forth.
Like I said, each situation is different and you will have to see how she is handling whatever you do and be prepared to change as necessary for her. Good luck with whichever way you go. I hope this helped.
MJ
