too dang young to feel this dang old kimura321: I know I have evrything going for me. Why do I feel like such a peice of used toilet paper? She still has me wrapped around her finger and I wish I knew how to get free of that. I want to have my own life, and she tells me what a bad husband I was for putting the child first and she has moved on and doesn't need me- then when things get too hard for her, she calls me crying- I drop everything to help her, and after it is all resovled she treats me like crap again. why do I do this? I never had had a problem getting dates or attracting the opposite sex, I always rise to the top of the food chain in whatever job or command I've been too, I have invested wisely and have a loving family and a good friend network.
Why do I seem to want to set myself up to be trested like crap. I wish love made more sense and I realized that the best is yet to come with my life- but whenever I move foward- she calls asking for help and I am back in my misery- her in-laws don't acknowledge I exist, when a few months ago they told me how great I was.
Maybe it's true- nice guys finish last.
I just don't want to lose my heart and become a bad person just to not get worked over- I don't want to lose the best parts of me. I've been through deaths, gunfire, homelessness, and a slew of other garbage and still kept myself- why is a divorce making me feel I'm slippling away?
so sorry about his self-pity party vent- but I figure you all would understand.
Re:too dang young to feel this dang old Shanna: We all need Pity Parties from time to time.....now that was yours....Step ONE: pick yourself up and quit letting her use you!!!!! Step TWO: realize the mean things she said about you being a bad husband may or may not be true ....write them down....figure out which ones are true and FIX the bad ones....that will help you feel better...you can't change the past, but you can improve for the future...
HUGS
Shanna
Re:too dang young to feel this dang old atalose: Try to stay strong gab......its easier said than done i know.....one day we will be stronger......remember in one years time..........
thinking of you
Re:too dang young to feel this dang old Terry: You've been through a lot and you sound pretty strong for it! That's going to get you through this too!
If there's one thing I've learned lately.... the more you keep talking...... the more likely you'll find your answers in your own words!
Keep talking
Terry
Re:too dang young to feel this dang old CoryL: I know where you are at. Even though I haven't even filed the divorce papers yet, I've gone through that stage of wanting to help her even though it is the last thing you need.
You want to do what is best for you, which would be cutting all unneeded contact with her. At the same time you want to be a kind, caring, helpful person because that is who you are.
She has you wrapped around her finger because you allow yourself to be. She knows she can call you if she needs help and you will come no matter how insignificant the circumstance. You have to learn how to say, "No!" It won't be easy. Infact it will be very difficult. You have probably spent years with this woman and now things are totally different.
You won't be a bad person for distancing yourself from her. Say it aloud. "I am not a bad person for putting my own emotional needs first." If she has moved on or has said she has moved on, it is time for you to move on as well. Which means putting your needs first and
not hers.
You will realize that you are a good person whether she thinks so or not. Remember, you need to believe you are a good person, not her. Keep your head up. Start to pull yourself away from her and eventually it won't be as difficult.
