Your Daily Horriblescopes. 1/20 RecoveringinDE: YOUR DAILY HORRIBLESCOPE –
Aries (March 21 - April 19)
Today you will watch something like a hawk. Basically, you do that by having unblinking beady little eyes, and a brain the size of a peanut.
Taurus (April 20 - May 20)
Today will be one of those days when everything reminds you of wild hickory nuts. Tomorrow: everything reminds you of peach yogurt.
Gemini (May 21 - June 20)
A huge spacecraft will hover over your dwelling structure today, and secretly analyze you down to the last parasitic microbe in your epidermal layers. They will be on the point of making contact with humans, and offering us technology to cure all illness, let us live indefinitely while looking like healthy 20-year-olds, and give us the ability to travel interstellar distances in an eye blink...when they spot you making something with SPAM. After a bit of horrified bleeping at each other, they will zoom off, never to return.
Cancer (June 21 - July 22)
Someone will ask you what you want to do this weekend. That may seem like a good time to say "What am I, psychic?" It's not, though.
Leo (July 23 - August 22)
Another excellent day to whittle.
Virgo (August 23 - September 22)
Three kings from arid countries will wander by, leading their horses, and apparently searching for something. This will seem innocuous at first, but later, you'll start to worry.
Libra (September 22 - October 22)
Late in the day today you will notice that people seem to be staring at your nose. Don't worry. It's probably nothing.
Scorpio (October 23 - November 21)
Resist temptation, today. You might have to get rough with it, or even wrestle it to the ground.
Sagittarius (November 22 - December 21)
Excellent day to make odd hand gestures at people you don't know.
Capricorn (December 22 - January 20)
There will be a great disturbance in the force, today. Fortunately, it will be caused by a really funny lawyer joke sweeping through the Universe, so there's no reason for you to worry.
Aquarius (January 21 - February 18)
Today you will have a sudden, somewhat irrational desire to drive to Camden, New Jersey, and visit the Soup Tureen Museum. Fortunately, you will restrain yourself.
Pisces (February 19 - March 20)
Remember to put a disclaimer at the bottom of your report, to say that it doesn't necessarily reflect the views of your management, or, for that matter, of any other carbon-based life form.
Re:Your Daily Horriblescopes. 1/20 amola: [quote author=RiDE link=board=21;threadid=7076;start=0#msg56657 date=1106255125">
Capricorn (December 22 - January 20)
There will be a great disturbance in the force, today. Fortunately, it will be caused by a really funny lawyer joke sweeping through the Universe, so there's no reason for you to worry. [/quote">
well, there was a great disturbance (see vent-o-board) but it wasn't caused by a lawyer joke....although i do have one so if i remember to i'll post it later when i have time!
amola
Re:Your Daily Horriblescopes. 1/20 jen: Taurus (April 20 - May 20)
Today will be one of those days when everything reminds you of wild hickory nuts. Tomorrow: everything reminds you of peach yogurt.
Totally goes with the PMS...it figures that everything will remind me of food :P
