What a BAD week!! stuckinthemiddle: Ok, so I have made some stupid mistakes, and now I am paying for them...
At the begining of the week, I broke up with my GF to try and work things out with my stbx....
That lasted three days... Now she has gone back to her BF, and I am left alone... My GF says that she can't be with me and be second... I understand that totally... I am lucky that she is willing to still talk to me and be my friend.
So now I know that my stbx and I cannot work things out... It is only a matter of time until the divorce is able to be filed. Then I will be free of her (or atleast as free as I can be when we have kids together)... In the meantime, I have things that need to be sorted out inside myself...
Like, why was I so willing to give up something that made me incredibly happy just for an uncertain chance to sort things out? Why do I love my stbx enough to let her walk all over me?
Alone again, and feeling bad, but talking to my GF and sorting things out inside me.... I have just invented a time machine!!! This is exactly how things were four months ago...
Re:What a BAD week!! hardened_heart1970: well, i personally think that you should be admired for what you did. you didnt want to decieve your girlfriend, and "cheat" on her. you did the right thing. if you care about your g/f and want her back, why dont you explain to her, that you didnt want her to be second, and you didnt want to "cheat" on her, and you wanted to make sure it wouldnt work, due part to the kids. she may admire you for not cheating, and being honest with her.
hang in there. you did the right thing. ive tried so many times, you begin to wonder if they are worth what they are putting us through.
Re:What a BAD week!! stuckinthemiddle: Oh, she knew why I did it... Still does in fact... I just HAD to know if it could work... And I know now, dont I? I know that my stbx isnt worth the pain that I put myself through to be with her...
And talking to my (ex) GF this afternoon, it appears there may be some hope for the future... Just not now... Which is ok with me because I think that there is a lot that I have to deal with first. I need to stop feeling for my wife, either way... At the moment I feel hurt, and I feel anger and I feel revulsion.... I mean, who can do this to someone, not once, not twice, but three times... Fair enough I may have been a contributing factor in the first two... She may have been unhappy at home... But this last time, we weren't even together!! She left her BF and I left my GF so that we could give it a try, and she couldnt even give me a chance... Almost as soon as she was here, she was wishing she was somewhere else.
I deserve a lot more... Talking to my (ex) GF today has just made so many things clear to me... I am so happy just to be able to talk to her, either on the net, on the phone, or through sms messages. She has helped me to see that my loving my stbx is useless, and is only going to haunt me and my future relationships....
Oh, and btw... When my stbx left today, I made sure that I slipped the last two things I had been holding on to out of our relationship into her bag... I no longer have our wedding photo, or my wedding ring... It feels so nice!! It feels like freedom.. I have no photo's I have no trinkets, I have no reminders of her. And, I feel like a new man.... I am still hurting, but I know that wont last forever... With help, I will be whole again soon... And then, its just a few more steps to find someone else... Or to see if I am Mr Right for my (ex) GF....
So, to all those out there who are hurting too, chin up! Remember that this does not last... The rainbow is only hidden by the clouds...
Re:What a BAD week!! TexaninNH: One thing that I have found to be true in my case is that I was mistaking love for the stbx with love/missing the life that I had grown comfortable with and accustomed to. It may not be the same in your case, but defintiely something to think about! I agree that you did the right thing by letting your GF know what was going on......very admirable indeed!!
