back to square one down south xhubbie: I feel that I'm back to square one.
Some of my worst habits have been coming out here lately.... unforgiveness, anger, hopelessness, insecurities, and even a little paranoia etc. etc. etc.
I have to agree with JimB on his post. Either they like your looks or they don't. There isn't a whole lot you can do about it. (except for staying in shape and well groomed) :-\
Obsession over outward appearance is a demon that I had to fight constantly in high school and my early years of college. The funny thing is that I had a lot of girls who liked me in high school. There was nothing I did to deserve it and nothing I had to do in order to get a date. I had a car and I was fairly attractive.
then i got older :(
Although I haven't really messed with it in a couple of months except to add "divorced" in my profile, I had a profile on Yahoo personals.
My question is this, when you put yourself 'out there' on forums such as Yahoo personals, here, or any other such site where singles congregate, how do you deal with rejection?
This past Christmas, I sent out a postcard, a personalized note for every recipient, and a picture of myself and my son. (yes, I went overboard ::) )
For me, it was a tremendous mistake, because I went over the top and didn't really have anybody comment on it. I don't fault them at all (you can't help how you think), but it sure hurt alot when I didn't really get much feedback (nice creativity there dsxh or that's a nice photo dsxh or most especially " your son is so cute", 'cause he darn sure is even if I'm not. lol )
That's why it's not very likely that I will post a picture on here.
I do take solace in the fact that it only takes one woman. One woman somewhere out there will think I'm the most gorgeous hunk she's ever seen. :P I just hope that I meet her before my son becomes a teenager (when he might run her off lol ) He's only 3 so I have awhile.
having a sense of humor helps, huh? :)
Re:back to square one jjbswest: If a woman only likes someone you because of your looks, is she worth having? I know that i do not want to go into the kind of relationship that i just got out of. A childish one, (teenagers) based on i will date them if they are cute, is not a good start on a relationship. i think that now, I want someone who is honest, trustworthy, can understand issues that i have now and help me work through them, makes me laugh, does little things that i am just now realizing i never had, someone i can talk to and feel safe with. the attractiveness comes from the inside. this is a mature adult way of looking at someone. you are worth having a real woman in your life who will make you feel like you are the best thing to ever happen to her. and you will find that. we all will eventually, im sure.
Re:back to square one heartbroken4: down south xhubbie
I agree with jjbswest you dont want someone who wants you for you looks because it wont be real. We all want something real and its very hard looking for it. This world offers some horrible people. But there is someone out there for you and you will find her it just takes time, dont be discouraged by what has happened so far. Keep your head up and feel good about yourself. Know that you are worth someone special. Do not downgrade yourself its not worth it! There is nothing like a confident guy its so attractive; well not the confident conceited type but I am sure you knew that. Good Luck and keep up the searching dont give up!
HB4
Re:back to square one bill23: Hey dsxh, I feel the hurt and pain in your post, buddy... but HeartBroken and jjbs have some great advice for you. Chin up, my friend... and it WILL happen for you one day! :)
Re:back to square one down south xhubbie: This has been something that I've tried to explain to quite a few people. It makes sense to me, but it may be pie in the sky fantasy.
IF there is really a "soul mate" for me in the world, I have the opinion that she will be absolutely nutty about both the inside and the outside.
One good thing about the forums here is that we have a chance to get to know one another from the inside first rather than judging by outward appearance.
There's no doubt that you can get to know someone's personality which can make them more physically appealing
What I'm talking about is someone who is crazy about everything about you. Everyone else may say, "omg, he's as ugly as a mud fence or he's so ugly he would stop a clock." lol :P That soul mate, however, may look at you and say, omg, he or she is what "I never knew that I always wanted." (some will catch that excellent movie reference ;) )
As I mentioned before, I guess that I'm a little naive to believe that something like that really exists. Someone who accepts you completely and not only "likes" what's inside and out, but eventually "loves" it !!
