Ladies opinions please (ok guys too) Daveinfla: I have only posted here once before but I read alot. I guess I don't post because I'm in limbo. My wife moved into her own apartment 3 weeks ago. There isn't another guy she just gives me the "I dont feel the same anymore" business. She was calling me everyday until I told her to stop and she wanted us to "date" for a while. I did the date thing once and decided I did'nt want to do that unless we decided on reconciliation. Now I miss her calling me everyday but I feel like I need to pull away and give her some space. She still goes by the house on her lunch and does things for me (cleans, takes the dog to the vet, etc). She says she wants romance. Should I continue to keep my distance or give in to the date thing? Thanks!
Re:Ladies opinions please (ok guys too) RecoveringinDE: My question is, do YOU think there is a chance? Or do you think she is hanging on out of habit?
Re:Ladies opinions please (ok guys too) bill23: Dave, let me ask you: has she gone out with anyone else or sought solace, emotional or physical, with anyone else this time (or the other two times she left)? If not, I think you should screw this giving her space business and, if you lover her and want her in your life, start being more romantic towards her! You have to communicate and meet each other's needs otherwise the situation can become SO much worse, as most people on this board can attest. So if you know that she's been faithful (she sounds awfully sweet if she's comes by and does all this stuff for you while you're apart) and what she's asking for seems so reasonable... if it was me, I'd work on myself (and her). Have you guys gone to counselling? Also, you might want to check out sites like marriagebuilding.com and divorcebusters.com I think they can really help in your situation. All the best!
Re:Ladies opinions please (ok guys too) radiogal: i think if she wants to date you...go for it! she's giving you a chance to make things feel more romantic, which from the sound of it may be your only problem? as far as not wanting to go on dates with her unless you decide to reconcile...i think that's kind of putting the cart before the horse. and with her still calling you and WANTING to date you and doing things for you, it sounds to me like she may want this to work out with you, she just needs to feel the "newness" again, and she's giving you a chance to do just that...just my opinion, of course...good luck!
Re:Ladies opinions please (ok guys too) Daveinfla: Thanks for the replies. She's going out with 2 of her female friends ( I know because other people have seen them out). Yes we tried counseling; she doesnt want to go any more, I still go. As far as another person goes, yes there was an emotional relationship that happened which we talked about in counseling, I spoke to the guy also and believe it was only emotional (still hurts) and that it is over. She says she wants to get "that feeling" back but doesnt know how. My counselor believes "pulling away" will help her find that feeling but, there is a risk.
