And still, THREE years later (almost) Fresca: OK, for those of you wondering why you haven't recovered from betrayal...
...in a month
...or six months
...or a year...
Dear Andrew;
It will be, OMG, three years from my discovery of the Chickie Babe later this month.
I don't mourn our relationship. I certainly no longer mourn the loss of you. What I do mourn, and may always mourn, is my unshakeable trust in YOU, in our bond, and in LOVE. I think there may only be one opportunity in a person's life to trust without reservation and fear, and once it is used up or betrayed, it can never be recovered..
I, no YOU, used up mine.
I love, love, love my husband. I believe in him, and I do trust him. He is direct and moral. No ambiguity.
But, still however, to paraphrase Ronald Reagan, I "trust, but verify".
It makes me sad, but I know that my one chance at innocent love was taken by you.
Hey, but what's the sacrifice of trust and love in the pursuit of selfish pleasure? ::)
-fran
Re:And still, THREE years later (almost) Beren: But, still however, to paraphrase Ronald Reagan, I "trust, but verify".
It makes me sad, but I know that my one chance at innocent love was taken by you.
While I do understand what you're getting at, I do see a silver lining to it. At least as to how I regard my own situation.
For the record, though, I never did catch Kim cheating. I suppose now I'll never really know for sure, but what I do know is that it wouldn't surprise me in the least if she did. In any case, the fact remains... one day I trusted her absolutely, and the next day, she was sticking knives into me. My trust was betrayed.
Yeah, I still feel like it might take a long time to trust someone again. I guess it could be called "lost innocence," but then again, maybe I shouldn't have been so trusting in the first place. It was my abundance of trust that caused me to take the relationship for granted in the first place. I believed that she'd always be there. It's not that I was a bad husband, but I certainly could've been better. Should I get married again, my next wife, I think, will be quite fortunate that I had the experience I had. If I trust her a little bit less, then I'll pay a little closer attention to her moods and behavior; the side effect is that I'll also be a little more attentive to her needs. The result, hopefully, will be a better and closer relationship.
I'm not saying that rampant distrust would be great for a relationship, of course! Just that perhaps absolute trust isn't great, either, as I think it might lead to complacence.
Or maybe this is just something I tell myself to make me feel better?
Sugar Beren
