"33 Reasons to Smile............"
"33 Reasons to Smile............"
1. My Husband and I divorced over religious differences. He thought he was God and I didn't.
2. I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.
3. I worked hard because millions on welfare depended on me.
4. Some people are alive only because its illegal to kill them.
5. I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.
6. Don't take life too seriously; no one gets out alive.
7. You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me.
8. Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
9. Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.
10. Quoting one is plagiarism; quoting many is research.
11. I'm not a complete idiot -- some parts are missing.
12. Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.
13. NyQuil: the stuffy, sneezy, why-the-heck-is-the-room-spinning medicine.
14. God must love stupid people; he made so many.
15. The gene pool could use a little chlorine.
16. It IS as BAD as you think and they ARE out to get you.
17. Consciousness: that annoying time between naps.
18. Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
19. MOP AND GLOW -- Floor wax used by Three Mile Island cleanup crew.
20. Being "over the hill" is much better than being under it.
21. Wrinkled was not one of the things I wanted to be when I grew up.
22. Procrastinate Now!
23. My dog can lick anyone!
24. I have a degree in liberal arts; do you want fries with that?
25. FAILURE IS NOT AN OPTION. It comes bundled with the software.
26. A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
27. A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance.
28. STUPIDITY IS NOT A HANDICAP. Park elsewhere!
29. They call it PMS because Mad Cow Disease was already taken.
30. He who dies with the most toys is nonetheless dead.
31. A PICTURE IS WORTH A THOUSAND WORDS, but it uses up three thousand
times the memory on your computer.
32. HAM AND EGGS -- A day's work for a chicken, a lifetime commitment for a
pig.
33. The trouble with life is there's no background music.
Re:"33 Reasons to Smile............" amola: *ROFLMAO* OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
15 is my favorite......i've been telling my sister to get out of the town that we grew up in because the gene pool is waaaaaaaaaaaaaay too shallow there!
:)
amola
Re:"33 Reasons to Smile............" Sad Eyes: Very Good! Thanks for the laugh! ;D
Re:"33 Reasons to Smile............" down south xhubbie: Yep, those were good. :)
