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I'm now one of many

I'm now one of many finney5: well, deep down I knew it, but it's harder to take when it comes to the surface. Turns out my stbx wants to move to Oregon to continue a relationship with his best friend's sister. I just got the long distance bill and talked with her for over an hour two days before he abruptly left to Oregon for a week. I knew he'd been chatting with her, but I didn't think anything would happen 1) because of distance and 2) because it is his friend's sister and 3) because she had a boyfriend and 4) she's got kids. Boy was I wrong.

He's also flat out lying to his family about me and I'm afraid they're going to believe him even though he lies about everything! He's telling them that he told me about the OW. When he came back I flat out asked him if she was the reason, and he said, "No, it's not like that" What a Wuss!!! (that's only one of the many lies that I heard about) Jeez!! On the other hand it just emphasizes what I won't be missing when he's gone. I know it won't last, he doesn't have the patience for kids--especially not his own. And he's only done the long distance on-line romance thing and spent one week with her.. reality's a B****.

But he's burned this bridge and he'll have nothing to fall back on.

Even so it still upsets me. >:(
JASPER: I know this whole thing is very upsetting especially the cowardly way his been handling the situation.It will be hard fo a minute but you know you deserve better then what his been giving you.

I'd also be willing to bet it wont last with them nothing done dishonestly ever does.

It might not seem that way yet but this is a blessing in disguise.You will be just find stay strong and take care of yourself.

 barelybreathing: I am so very sorry. I know you feel such anguish and pain.

I am not going to lie to you but its going to hurt and its going to hurt for a very long time. All you can do is surround yourself with as much love and support as possible.

This is not about you. His relationship with the OW is about him and HIS shortcomings, failures, insecurities and masked feelings.

You just take care of yourself and come out the other side, stronger, steadfast, evolved and true to you.


 Bob-Bob: Finney,

It never ceases to amaze me the cowardly lies people step to... Unable to face their spouse with the truth of it all for whatever reason, they ad injury to insult by lieing. :o

Yeah, love it too... when you realize that their problems are still there, that their problems will come back around and bite em' in the ...

You are going to be just fine without him... like you said " It emphasizes what I won't be missing when he's gone."

Lies and deception, seem to abound in divorces... but the truth always remains that like you pointed out they are still the same people, with all of their original problems... those problems will still be there when the newness of their current situation wears off....

Be good to yourself, and remember that lies are an illusion that people create...
Illusions never stand the test of time.

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