recovery times? Dino: Firstly, let me say I am aware that different people and different situations impact enormously on recovery times for the soul.
My query is, why have some people taken so long to get to the point they are at. This specifically relates to you other ojarians. It has been 2 months since my ex left. She was the world to me. I stopped contact a month ago. But before that, I had only spoken to her a dozen or so times since the breakup. It seems like it has been much easier on me than some of you. I read some posts that are getting into counting the years instead of months.
I'm wondering whether I will suffer a dramatic setback in the future. It seems that some of you hold on even though ex's have cheated, got new partners, even remarried. I don't want to hold on like that for a long time and am wondering why you can't let go after (in many cases) quite an extended period.
I'm not trying to put anyone down. I understand that kids/houses/jobs/family put pressures on some of you that I don't have.
I was hurt so intensely that stopping contact with her really wasnt a problem at all.
Do i sound like a knob? Anyway, opinions please.
Re:recovery times? CoryL: It simply boils down to the fact that different people deal with change differently.
My entire life has been change, so this, while the most major, was something I had been prepared for.
We all have our timeframes. Some of us just have shorter ones than others.
Re:recovery times? teacherwriterguy: Probably also matters what kind of personal history you have and how the ending/break point occurred.
In my case, I had a separation of about two months that was really a separation - little contact. Even though I was holding out hope that she'd decide to go to counseling, that we'd go back to trying to work things out, a part of me was acclimating to the idea that it wouldn't work.
When the news came, though it still hit me hard, there was a part of my interior being that was prepared.
Might also have to do with what people have gone through in life. Is it a first love? Is it a second marriage? What is the rest of the person's life like? Are they supported? Are they alone?
Every person is a little universe unto themselves.
teacherwriterguy
Re:recovery times? Dino: I guess my question was too simplistic for such a complicated topic with so many variables.
Re:recovery times? teacherwriterguy: Nah... I get what you mean.
Feeling okay and 'together' after/during a divorce is kind of a surprise. One expects to feel so much worse.
Looking a gift horse in the mouth? Or being prepared?
Just not sure I had a real answer! :)
teacherwriterguy
