It's official..She's moving out. What now?
It's official..She's moving out. What now? DazednConfused: She found an apartment yesterday and she'll be moving on March 10th. She says she still wants to work on our marriage, to start dating again and try to recapure the spark we've seem to have lost. Right now he is out with him, her innocent friend, totally plutonic she says. She has admitted to me that for a short period of time there was a more emotional involvemet, but not physical. I don't understand why she still wants to keep this man in her life. She knows it hurts me, and she says she is still committed to our marriage, so why? It seems like she is saying one thing and then does the opposite. I have made peace with the fact we are separating, and I sincerely want to try to work things out with her, but I am getting to a point that I'm starting not to beleive her commitment. I wish she'd just be straight with me!
Dino: Perhaps she is testing the waters with the new guy, perhaps not. It is certainly possible that she is seeing where things with the new guy are headed while keeping the door open to you. She is doubtless feeling some hesitancy in leaving. I think she may be unwilling to give up the comfort of thinking she can always come back to you if things dont work out.
Then again, maybe it is all an innocent friendship. Have you met the guy? What do you think? Let me ask something else. Is the guy single? Is he attracted to her? If the answer to both is yes, then you should definately be concerned.
DazednConfused: We all started out as friends about 9 months ago, then they started spending more time together without me. I don't know what his motivations are, but it has been difficult for me to honestly judge his character becuse my perception has been clouded by my jealousy. But yes, he is single and he is attracted to her. She swears to me that she isn't interested in a romantic relationship with him, but her actions speak differently. Again, may just be my perception but It certainly doesn't feel right to me.
Dino: The guy my ex is seeing now started as a friend she said she wasn't interested in. Things change my friend. I think she is interested in this guy. Maybe nothing has come of it yet, but I believe something will.
Have you explained to her that you are feeling jealous of this guy. If she wants to work on your marriage and fix things, that it is difficult on you seeing her with him. If she really wants to make things work, and he is just a friend, then they should understand if you want them to stop seeing each other until you resolve the issues in your marriage.
If she isn't willing to stop seeing him to repair your marriage, then something definately rotten. I feel your wife should value your marriage more than her friendship which, if it is just that, shouldn't suffer from a hiatus.
lone star: I think when a woman says she has become emotionally involved in a relationship with a man--there are most likely some feelings there. maybe she hasn't become sexually involved with this guy but that could very easily be the next step. it sounds like she needs to figure a few things out right now--she sounds confused about what she wants. That's ok for her to feel that way but if you're not careful you may suffer the consequences. That leaves you in a tough position. You probably want to still be close to her but maybe you both should take a break. Remember the old saying.."let it go--and if it comes back to you then it was meant to be". sometimes people need a reason to be grateful for what they have. if a person thinks they could lose something special--they are more inclined to work extra hard when they get a second chance.