My son, my x-h and I atalose: Well this evening was very strange indeed. My 5 y/o seems to be missing having the family together, the x and I began talking about what we can do for him to make him understand that though our family is no longer together that we "mom and dad" love him more than ever. So we decided as a family we would try to spend some quality time together. My son and I went to our old house (where x lives) for about an hour or so. We sat around in the living room playing PS2, me and dad taking turns playing second player. My son really seemed to enjoy himself, had lots of laughs (even mom and dad) over the way we kept losing! It was enjoyable, and strange only in that its been a long time that we all spent time together, but not strange being in the house really. Yea I casually glanced aroung, noticed the changes that were made, all different furniture (I got all that we had together) seeing how he decorates and arranges things, it was kinda seeing him as a single individual. About a half an hour into our visit he started getting calls on his cell phone which I have to admitt that I wondered "who" it was and so forth.......just out of curiousity, I didnt feel jealous, upset or nothing so I took that as a good sign. Then after a few calls I realized that he actually had plans for doing something sometime later (after we were to leave) that made me slightly uncomfortable mainly I guess because I didnt know he had plans and I felt foolish thinking damn hes going to end up asking us to leave and dont know why but I knew I would feel better just leaving than being asked to leave. So shortly after his last call I explained to him that I was sorry I did not know he had plans and that we would leave so that he may get ready. At first he was like "I'm not leaving yet at least not for another hour, you guys dont have to leave yet". But once again something inside me told me I didnt want him to tell us it was time to leave, so we got ready and left. On the way home I did wonder though "what" kind of plans he made after we had already made plans with our son, at the time we made plans we didnt give eachother a time limit on our quality time so I was disappointed to a certain degree............But after careful thinking we did well by not putting so much time involved in this one night of quality time together. My son had the biggest smile on his face and that made me happy, any amount of time probably would of put that smile on his face being able to spend it with "both" his parents.
Re:My son, my x-h and I ratchet5: God, I feel for you atalose. You are doing great, putting your child first, wanting to make him happy, even though it might hurt you some to do so. CHEERS TO YOU!! :D As far as him making other plans, I'm not so sure what to say. Maybe he didn't think you would stay around very long, and was afraid it would be painful to him, so he made plans for afterwards, so he wouldn't have to sit around and think about it?
I really don't know, just speculation, but it sounds like you are doing all the right things for you and your son!!! Keep it up, they are the most precious things we have!! ;D
Re:My son, my x-h and I atalose: Thank You ratchet5! Maintaining a loving, healthy relationship between my son and my x is "VERY" important to me (I have 2 older children from a previous relationship and they hardly ever see their dad, maybe a total of 5 weekends a year, and I know that it has hurt, confused, angered them and has left them feeling really bad) so I will always go out of my way to be accommodating to my sons wants and my x'es schedules and desires to be with our son. It's also important to me that our son sees us as hes family always no matter what and that whenever he needs us that we will be there no matter if he wants mom or dad or us both so maintaining a healthy relationship with my x is also very important to me. Sometimes I have a hard time dealing with the x all because I still care and love him but then I remember he is no longer in my life but my son is and he'll always be in both of our lives and its his happiness that I care about most.
