Re:Perhaps this will give some people hope... clb: ;D
Congratulations! It is nice to hear that it works out once in awhile. I wish more people would realize that things such as this can make a marriage stronger and not disolve it. Best of luck!
Perhaps this will give some people hope... NoEscape: Well I think most of you know my story. Wife decided right around christmas she is no longer "in" love with me, been unhappy for years etc. Also mentioned that she loves me but not romantically.
Of course before all this came out I found out thru emails that she had been having an emotional affair with an older married man at work. She also kissed him a few times. She would write emails to him about how much I dont do this and that etc...shockingly he was very supportive! What a guy....lol. Tool.
Anyway--she told me that I never paid any attention to her,wasnt attracted to her, didnt listen and she was sure I did not love her.
Well, 8 weeks have passed since the day I had a knife put in my stomach from reading those emails. ---we have been to therapy and have spent countless hours talking. In the last 2 weeks or so our relationship has been fantastic. Everything I have always wanted---she is very much IN love with me and there is nothing but business contact with OM. He is still in love with her but thats his problem. She has told him how she feels about me. We have many good times together, no fights, plenty of sex. Really our relationship is better than its ever been.
To get to this point I had to show my wife that I could change--consisitently. This was very difficult as I felt she was the one who betrayed me why should I change? I decided to do everything she told me I could never do, be more attentive, help around the house, complinent her, listen to her. LOVE her. We also went to some therapy sessions but mostly resolved this on our own. I caught her with emails twice...the first time in december she was mad that I caught her--didnt think she was even having an "affair" and wanted a divorce...she wasnt even sorry for what she did...the second time was about 2.5 weeks ago...these emails were more flirting than anything else...I caught her and told her I wanted the divorce...she was so apologetic and begged me not to throw away what we have and that she is so IN love with me etc. Things have been really great since then and our relationship is like new. Looking back on it...if this EA didnt happen..I probably would have never changed my behavior..It took almost losing her to make me realize how much she means and that I had to change to make it work. I dont totally trust her(but not too bad) but she understands and will hide nothing from me...she will talk about anything at any time if needed as she has nothing to hide. I know some of you are in my exact situation and I hope my story gives some of you hope that sometimes these things do actually work out for the better--in a weird way..
Re:Perhaps this will give some people hope... Dino: I'm really glad you and your wife worked things out. It's nice to see a happy ending for a change. Good for you for working on yourself as well. I hope your relationship continues to be as rewarding as it is now.
Don't ever lose sight of what has happened and how things could have gone.
Re:Perhaps this will give some people hope... OldSchool: Wow, you've come along way! I'm very happy that your relationship has taken a positive turn and continues in that direction. It's been a while for me to even remember trying to reconcile w/ my ex, but you were man enough to realize that there were things you needed to change. I'm definitely rooting for you in the coming days, weeks, months and hopefully years to come with her.
OS
Re:Perhaps this will give some people hope... Chey: What a great day for you....a real corner has been turned, and I truley wish only the best for you and your wife in the coming weeks...make sure you keep us posted though ok :)
Chey
