Emtions ! brynne: Feeling sad tonight, no sure why...maybe it's the holiday, knowing that if things were ok we would have gone away for the weekend. I have made it over a week w/ out getting upset over this, but this morning my husband starting talking about divorce & how he was going to spend his savings so I couldn't get any of his money ! What a jerk. That set the tone for the whole day...know I can't stop thinking about what it will be like to be divorced. How am I going to tell people, like at holiday get togethers...how depressing to think about that, i know I shouldn't think that far ahead but I do.
I just feel like I'm getting to the point of no return, like I can't take much more of his behavior. He's rarely home, only in the evenings & he acts like I don't exist most of the time & that HURTS. I can't believe that 2 years ago we were newlyweds, had just bought our first home & were so excited about the future, now there is no future. I can't believe how your spouse's feelings can change so drastically, it's so upsetting to know that there were no warning signs, he was the perfect spouse...he loved me unconditionally & was always supportive of me. Now he criticizes me all the time & I can't remember the last time he told me he loved me. I don't know how I am going to feel if it comes to divorce, it's so scary & I feel like now the world has changed in my eyes. I don't know if I believe in true love anymore, I thought I did but look what's happened. It hurts to think that I may have problems trusting/loving a future partner b/c of all this. There I go jumping into the future again...
I think I've indulged in enough self-pity for 1 day, just needed to get some things off my mind so I can sleep tonight.
brynne: Ok, I don't know how to spell emotions...
I hope you are feeling a bit better than last night - sorry it was so rough on you. I used to have the same thoughts as you - "What am I going to tell people?", "Great, now I won't have anybody to share the Holidays with..." but you know what? What will you be missing out on? That's what I had to think to myself.
My ex was a total albatross around my neck. He hated the Holidays and made our marriage miserable... I got to the point where my happiness mattered more than what I was going to tell people. You do get to that point.
Your H is being a complete jerk and I do know how much his actions and words hurt you - I was in your shoes too. Divorce will be a tough road to travel but you know what? In the end you will be a much happier person... you really will.
Hope you have a good day today!!!
nolefan: Maybe we should get together...but not right now because I am drunk and I don't even know where I am right now...how did I ghet there? Where am I going? What?
NoEscape: hang in there brynne--it sounds like we are all inthe same boat. The thought of divorce is sickening to me.....I would lose custody of my little baby girl. ---
breaks my heart.
I just realized...this is a big ass boat !!!! Iceberg straight ahead!