Update - Turning Point Bocephus: I wanted to say a couple things to those that are interested, and am excited to share some thoughts I am having tonight.
First, thank you Ojar, and everybody on Ojar for being there for me this last few months. Really special bunch of people!
I feel as though I haven't had the best advice to offer in return but will do my best moving forward. I don't plan on staying away, unless I'm voted off for high jacking posts and posting way too many song lyrics. ::)
Tonight, I spoke with the stbxw. The bottom line was I got upset, and told her many things I feared saying before. In the heat of the moment I became a screaming a-hole. I felt bad afterwards when we hung up. I think I realized that it is over. It is over because it takes 2 people to make a relationship work, and if 1 is not happy or willing try and be happy in the marriage again, it can't happen. I know now that she is not willing. I am sad and hurt, but will be ok. I have lost my true love. Now, my only option is to focus on my self, my own happiness, and healing my own heart. I will now do what it takes to become a healthy, good person again. I will move forward starting tonight, looking forward to getting happy again. I will learn to make it on my own. I will learn to be proud of myself and not rely on others for drive. I will succeed. It will take time, it's not going to be easy, and I will hurt and cry and miss her but it will get better, just as it got better tonight.
I don't know exactly what happened tonight. I have some ideas but am not sure how I got this point. I'm not going to try and figure it out either. I'm just going to go with it.
Closing thoughts on this night are that I hope she doesn't remember me as some blubbering screaming desperate a-hole, and I hope she becomes a happier person, similar and happier to how I remember her before all this started.
Lastly, I think I have been somewhat a fool, and am a little embarrassed of how I might have acted in posts and replies here on Ojar. Moving forward, I will be ok. ;)
Re:Update - Turning Point bamababe: Here's a high-5 to you!! Best Wishes Bo!!
Re:Update - Turning Point jen: Bo ~
Congratulations on your turning point... :)
I don't think you have anything to be embarrassed by in anything you've posted. In the moment, what we post is our reality and the truth. It is a great thing to look back at our posts sometimes and see how our perception and understanding of things changes over time.
good for you! :)
take care,
mtmo
Re:Update - Turning Point 1973kendoll: Very inspiring. I wish you the best of luck always.
James
Re:Update - Turning Point Redhead33: :)
