Your Daily Horriblescopes. 3/4 RecoveringinDE: Aries (March 21 - April 19)
Good day to bring home an insectivore as a pet.
Taurus (April 20 - May 20)
You are at a turning point in your life. Turn left.
Gemini (May 21 - June 20)
Try to praise in public and criticize in private. Just never, ever, criticize privates.
Cancer (June 21 - July 22)
Today you will uncover a conspiracy, involving leaf-blowers and other noisy and completely pointless garden equipment.
Leo (July 23 - August 22)
Today you will be "mooned" by a cat. Fortunately, you won't notice.
Virgo (August 23 - September 22)
Excellent time to hum popular songs, just slightly off key. If you do that long enough, the people around you will change in appearance. You'll be able to see the veins in their neck, for one thing.
Libra (September 22 - October 22)
You will be plagued by theological doubts today, and will flirt with the idea of changing your religion. Subconsciously, this is because you're envious of the really cool hats some of the people in other religions get to wear.
Scorpio (October 23 - November 21)
Absolutely marvelous day to complain, grumble, gripe, or whine. Remember: if you're going to do something, do it well.
Sagittarius (November 22 - December 21)
Today you will become a digger. Dig, dig, dig. That's all you'll think of, for months. You will discover an amazingly large diamond, about 27 feet down, and will be fabulously rich after that. Not that you'll give me any credit, of course. Ingrate!
Capricorn (December 22 - January 20)
Today you will wonder where idiomatic expressions come from, and whether you can start one yourself. Be careful, though. The first person to say "nothing succeeds like success" must have sounded like a real idiot.
Aquarius (January 21 - February 18)
Today you will realize that it seems quite impossible to make any sense out of life, especially when you consider what life must be like in Nebraska.
Pisces (February 19 - March 20)
Everyone will stare at you like deer in headlights this week at the office. Actually, you will later decide that driving your car around inside the office may not be your best-ever idea.
Re:Your Daily Horriblescopes. 3/4 Shanna: [quote"> Aquarius (January 21 - February 18)
Today you will realize that it seems quite impossible to make any sense out of life, especially when you consider what life must be like in Nebraska. [/quote">
D@mn those people from Nebraska ruining my day :P
Re:Your Daily Horriblescopes. 3/4 jen: [quote"> Taurus (April 20 - May 20)
You are at a turning point in your life. Turn left. [/quote">
Hmmmm...if I keep turning left, though, I'll end up just where I started :P Or do I turn left just once?
Re:Your Daily Horriblescopes. 3/4 in_search_of: [quote"> Taurus (April 20 - May 20)
You are at a turning point in your life. Turn left. [/quote">
Hmmm, my new aparment is too the left of my old apartment, suppose that counts?
Re:Your Daily Horriblescopes. 3/4 paul76: Just what exactly is an insectivore? I cant even spell it. Do they sell those at the pet shop, or do I have to go to some third world country to pick one up.
My landlord is an @ss, I dont know if he'd approve.
potzy
