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Separation odds

Separation odds Thinkin: I m thinking of leaving my place to get some time away. "I'd be moving all my stuff out as well. It s more for my wife then it is for me. I feel the time away will make me feel better cause I won t have to deal with the stress and heartache.

The down side, the reason my marriage went bad had allot to do with me taking to much time for my self and not enough for her needs. So one me leaving my make things worse cause I d just be doing my normal.

Also my leaving will most likely cause me to build up a lot of resentment causing me to possibly hate her for all she has put me thru the last couple of months.

So my question is, how often does a separation work out?

justme15: That is a hard one. Most of are or were in the same boat as you are.
All I can tell you is that your hope is the only one that really matters. Also how hard you are willing to fight for the both of you.
Sorry I can't be more help.
Keep your chin up in all that is going on.

 Chase: Hi Thinkin,

I'm just preparing to leave our house myself, and I have to tell you that deep down I know that seperation is not likely to improve the odds of us reconciling. But I'm hoping that being apart will give us an opportunity to reconnect, and to re-find the things about each other that work well. Being apart will remove the stress and conflict that is standing between us being able to find these other parts of our relationship.

If our relationship is to recover, it won't be the seperation that does it, it will be what happens between us - the seperation _may_ provide us a better environment for that to occcur.

But living apart will also mean that we start to become independent, and it may mean that one - or both - of us discover that we don't want or need the relationship to be the way it once was, or could be with a marriage.

For me, I guess things are different because my wife and I have both realised that staying together at the moment is making things worse for us, so the seperation is something that is, in many ways, a joint decision.

If your goal is to improve your marriage, I would really encourage you to try to come to agreement with your partner first - if she feels you have abandoned her and your marriage, it's not going to be setting a neutral future where you can reconcile easily.

Good luck

 Thinkin: Hey Chase, I've seen some of your story and your right, they sound alot a like. your input here hit's home, I too don't think it will make things better. I even just read a post that was talking about some one who has been apart for 6 months and now she feels she doesn't love her husband anymore. That is what I think will happen in mine.

Just me, thanks for the kind words. I have my chin up and not that sad anymore, just hate the feeling of the limbo

I really wanted to make this a bit of a poll to see what the odd's of getting back together after a split.
 Thinkin: There has got to be some others that have input on this. So many of us in this boat and been through it, it's hard to think only two had any input.

How many of you think getting back to gether after a separation will work?

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