Cant seem to move on
Cant seem to move on SooUnhappy: :'(I have been going through this for almost eight months. My wife of 11 years (been together for 15) said she has been unhappy for a long time and is leaving. She left in August, Divorce final in November, and I am still miserable. Have been doing better the last month or so with no periods of crying, but the past week has been horrible...like it's starting all over again. Have a 10 year old son who is with me more than half the time, and he seems to be handling this better than me. I'm usually better when he is with me, but I can't rely on hip to fill this void. Just wish I could get past this. I spent some time on this forum earlier, but never posted.
CoryL: We all move on on our on time. There is no timetable you can check with to see how much longer you have to wait until the happiness train comes into your station.
You can't judge your progress on how little or much you cry because all you will do is put yourself into a depression since you feel you are not reaching goals (even if you haven't set any).
It IS starting over again. Your son appears to be dealing with it better because he has a completely different set of circumstances.
Divorce is something I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy, but the bottom line is that it happened to us and now we either deal with it or we don't. It comes down to being a choice. It sounds too simple, but it isn't. If you make up your mind that you are going to get over this and work toward that, you will learn some tools to deal with things when they come back and start to flood you.
You can and will get past this. Hang out here and talk. I don't think anyone here would turn a deaf ear to anyone. We are a support community. Use us for support. Learn from what others are doing. Communicate your feelings and thoughts. We'll listen.
Keep your head up.
Dunno: *Sigh* Same ole sh*t, another day is all, how I wish it were night, then again, I am frightened to death of the darkness, the emptiness. He came by today, to get some eqipment for a job, (so he said), what he actually did was remove ALL equipment to HER house. Knowing this, WHY must it still hurt like a fresh wound? I really WANT to get past this, I have to, I have no ambition for anything anymore, he took it all. I love him so very much, but I have to let go of this "dream" of his waking up and realizing all this is wrong, for he is NOT coming back. Why then won't I accept it? Looking on, I am not sure I could/would ever want to go through this pain again. I am pitiful, I say this while at the same time I so want him :( Will I ever gain the independence I need to go on?
willow78: :( :'(I can relate 100% with you. I still am very much in love with my stbx, we see each other every day at work. He has HER living with him, but still I hang on to hope that he will come back someday. He is very nice to me, and he helps me with whatever I need, maybe that is why I keep the hope going. I to wish I could stop this and be happy and go on with my life, but I feel like I will die loving him. I don't really have an answer for you, but I wanted you to know someone else is going through exactly the same thing as you. This has to all just be a nightmare!! I wish I could wake up. This is a death, and the ghost is still walking around. Only in my case, I see the ghost everyday. You have to put your mind on something else and tuck your love for him down into your heart, don't let it go, just put it away, maybe you will need it again someday!! I wish us both good luck!!
Dunno: What I keep asking myself princess, is WHEN will I let go even a little? I do still love him very much, and meant every word of my vows, always will. Though I am in a type of denial here, I have to realize the truth beyond me, that he won't be back anytime soon. You see, each night before closing my eyes, I tell myself I will awake and he will be here, telling me he had made a terrible mistake, only thing wrong is I awake and he isn't here, and I have to get through the day realizing all over again, he is gone to me. I want to tuck my love for him away, it's just too soon I guess. Till that time, I am slowly torturing myself, over and over.