Newbie Here workingmom: Hey everyone-
I have been a lurker here for a couple of months and finally decided to drop everyone a line. A friend of mine from work told me about this site. Now as I have been lurking around I have noticed a lot of people really seem to feel sorry for themselves. I don't want to come across as being harsh and believe me I have gone through my own crap, but I truly believe I am a better person for having the cajones to leave. It took me awhile to finally make the decision to leave and I did quite a bit of sabotaging to my relationship before I finally did but I did and I don't regret it. I hope I haven't offended anyone (Jen Cole you have my sympathy for the "incident" last week) but doesn't anyone else here get tired of people feeling sorry for themselves?
Re:Newbie Here tyrogers: I don't think anyone gets tired of it because we have all been there at some point in our lives. Some people need a boost to help get them through it, which is why we are all here. Although I seem pretty tough and straightforward, there have been times that many people on this site have helped me through. So don't look at it as people feeling sorry for themselves...think of it as people looking for someone who is unbiased to tell them that they are not. Some people only have their family and friends and we all know that at some times, they tend to be a bit biased when it comes to our personal problems. I don't think you have offended anyone, but I think maybe you should look at it through that other person's eyes. ;)
BBH - Tyleena ("Ty")
Way Down South in 'Bama
Re:Newbie Here Thinkin: That's great for you but a lot of the people here have had their hearts ripped out and fed to them. You left, good for you but others here have been sh!t on by the ones close to them. these are the last souls who we thought would stab us in the back. so yes, I think you are out of line and in the wrong place.
Re:Newbie Here timetobefree: Yes, lots of people around here do feel sorry for themselves. But I think if you stay around long enough, you will see an evolution that happens with most everyone here. The stages of grieving a marriage are very similar to the stages of grieving a death. At some point, almost everyone here feels sorry for themselves. THAT IS COMPLETELY NORMAL DURING A DIVORCE. And almost everyone here moves past that at some point during their healing...granted, some people move on quicker than others, but everyone seems to move on. Yes, some of us have set backs, but that is also COMPLETELY NORMAL.
I, for one, felt totally sorry for myself when I joined. My ex cheated on me and I caught him in the act. I was having a great pity party and I didn't want anyone to stop the party! But I think if you read some of my more recent postings, I don't feel sorry for myself anymore. I have used this as a learning experience to look at myself and work on becoming a better person. I don't even hate my ex. But it took me going through those stages to get to this point. And one of those stages was the pity party.
Good for you if you haven't felt sorry for yourself for one moment through this whole thing...but I would venture to say you are the exception and not the norm!
Amy
Re:Newbie Here Thinkin: Great post Amy!
