Whatcha think of this letter?? CPmommy: STBX went out of town for a few days and decided to leave me this little present:
"Just a note with a few things before I head out. I took Cam's sleeping bag. I checked with him first. I am leaving this book behind (a book about emotional healing) - I'm about 1/2 way done. I suggest you give it a shot. I think it can help you quite a bit. Yes, it has religion in it, but it isn't pushy about it. It quotes and relates it to everyday life. That is what I get most out of all of this religious stuff. The relation to everyday actions and relations with others (still learning, of course). I am going to drop off my car at Tolley's (to get the brakes fixed). I will have him call you when done so that you can pay for it (thank you). I also plan on paying for my apartment, or at least telling her to hold it until Sunday. I thought you might see the damage in all of this, but apparently not. I plan on taking with me my bed, my dining room table and chairs, computer, stereo, kitchen rack and maybe the TV, too, from upstairs and entertainment center. That leaves you the washer, dryer, dishwasher, couches and most all else. I still ask for your forgiveness and trust. I hope that you will see the damage that is being done in the "real" world. Your fantasy will not make this better. If he is not coming to stay, then why do you continue to hold on to that? Do you want to go and leave the kids? I could live with that. I just wish you would let your guilty conscience have some more say. He is probably smart enough to not venture this way permanently. You have TOO much emotional baggage plus two kids. You have no idea how he will be around them. He can tell you alll he wants but you just don't know. I just have a hard time seeing how you can gamble all of this away! Money and our kids emotional scars of a lifetime! Things will not be hunky dory. Far from it. Worse than they are now! I just want to put my arms around you and let you know that you will be okay with me! Forgive and trust and build. Start over fresh with me. You won't be unhappy! Please consider counseling with me. We will talk Sunday for sure. Please anyway. The boys need me here 24/7. You do, too (the new and still improving me) not the old one. I am not perfect nor will I ever be. I have a lot to learn still and I have a lot to improve on with things that I learned two months ago. Please let me be your support. Let me be your "real" thing. I am here daily and doing the daily things. I'm not feeding you what you WANT to hear on the phone late at night. Sometimes the truth hurts, doesn't it? I have to look in the mirror daily and look at the truth of the mess I put us in. All I can do is try to get our family out of this mess. I hope that involves you, too. I love you as much as ever. I can overlook your crazy emotional thoughts and feelings. Lord knows mine have been crazy and emotional, too. I'm not even saying that is wrong to feel as you do! Have fun, I wish I could be with you instead."
That makes my head spin and my stomach turn. Oh, and the "he" that he is referring to in this letter is a friend of mine I've been talking to that lives 2500 miles away, whom I haven't seen in 13 years.
Lovely. Additionally, I found out that the earliest this could be over is June 8.
This Irish girl's eyes are NOT smiling today.
Re:Whatcha think of this letter?? riversandlakes:
Sorry, what's the story? He left and is leaving and asking to come back at the same time?
Re:Whatcha think of this letter?? CPmommy: Sorry, for those of you that don't know me - he's a supposedly recovering alcoholic/drug addict that I kicked out, who is living with his parents (since Jan 3, even though I asked him to leave in October) and he wants me to take him back. That's the condensed version.
Re:Whatcha think of this letter?? lemondrop: I think he's dying inside. I think he really wants to make things up to you. I know you're frustrated with him and have probably seen him break his promises before. It just seems to me (after reading this) that he realizes what he has to lose and he would do anything to get you to give him another chance.
Are you sure there's nothing that can be done? Are you sure you want out? Are you sure there is no more love there for this man?
Other thoughts than ran through my head though are that he sounds a bit controlling and slightly manipulative. You know him better than any of us do. Trust your instincts and your heart to help you make the best decision for you and your family.
Good luck,
Lemondrop
Re:Whatcha think of this letter?? riversandlakes:
Do you still love him, cpmommy? Sounds like he wants back, but you'll know better if he can change for the better...
