was he always a jerk???

was he always a jerk??? JustDumped: I moved to dallas 9 months ago for my dream job with my boyfriend. after a while, i got him a job with my company because i was sick of him sitting around in his underwear all day ( i should have just let him) and since we spent so much time together our relationship turned to crap. i ended up getting so frustrated after keeping my mouth shut for months that i said it was either the job or our relationship, and he chose the job! he didnt tell me he was looking or found an apartment until 5 minutes before he started packing. he was gone hours later, without a hug, a goodbye, or anything. then i had to go to work and see him each day, and last week i found out that hes been flirting with all the girls at work and told them he was looking for an apartment and all that stuff when he wasnt even telling me!! so basically everyone at work knew he was going to move out before i even did. now he claims that i owe him money and that one of my cats (which he has never fed none the less ever bought anything for) is his. I feel so humiliated and super mad. i cant believe i was dating such an a*hole for 5 years and never knew it. it wouldnt be so bad if i just had some friends, but all of the girls he has been flirting with me arent very friendly anymore (gee, i wonder why??) and everyone else just doesnt do anything. i am 23 and i'm feeling like i'm missing out on some precious years of my life because i cant seem to make any friends and my ex is sabatoging the slim chance i might have with the people i do know. and all the while i'm completely depressed that he left me. it makes me just want to pack up and move home- if i didnt love this job so much. any advice would be greatly appreciated.
Re:was he always a jerk??? riversandlakes:
Was he always like this? Or yet another example of people change :-\

Anyhow, he is being a real jerk now. From the look of things flirting and hitting on all the girls at work will get him into trouble soon.

You love the job, hence cannot leave it. And you got him the job where you are now...face it, dear?

You are still young at 23. Don't let him sabotage (hence control) your chances of meeting better mature people?! Count yourself lucky to see this boy's true colors before you guys took to the next phase...
Re:was he always a jerk??? DOK: Any chance you can retain your job, but move to a different state? Maybe stay with the same company?

If so, I recommend you move as soon as possible. Moving away from my ex was by far the best thing I did to get her out of my head.

It's funny how people's true character shows its true face during times like that - not your stbx's character, but the other chickadees in the office...
Re:was he always a jerk??? JustDumped: thanks for the advice-

unfotrunately, the company only has one other branch and thats in california and i dont know how keen i am moving out there. plus, moving is so expensive, and since i had to but all new furniture because he took it all, im sort of broke.
its so hard to meet people here!! and its not like i feel very confident right now, which is never a quality that people exactly gravitate to...
did i mention at work that i have to sit RIGHT NEXT TO HIM? i can see him right now. this sucks.
Re:was he always a jerk??? DOK: Sorry, that really stinks.

Too bad he's not man enough to quit and go find a job on his own, one that he didn't ride in on using his girlfriend's coat tails.

I know this doesn't help, but it's good you found out his true character now, rather than sometime down the road. But like I say, platitudes like that didn't help me at all when I was going through all the breakup B.S. So sorry. I got to watch my stbx cuddling up to a man twice her age, kissing, hugging, etc., every time I went to pick up the kids. Yeck! Course they don't seem to be physically close any more - can't seem to figure out why...

Hang in there - until it gets unbearable. Then, you probably will have to find a new job, because it doesn't seem like he's budging, based on what you've said.

Can you get your boss to move you to a different location in the building at least?