deleted prairie_princess: ----
Re:My life is in Shambles jen: prairie princess,
I am so sorry to hear what you are going through. I can understand why you are overwhelmed. There are a lot of changes happening in your life and it sounds like your support system is limited right now.
The two things that occurred to me as I read your post is first your need for support and secondly the details of your living situation and finances that need to be addressed.
As far as the practical issues you listed...there are a lot decisions that you are going to have to make, but you only have to make one at a time. I know when my life feels crazy and out-of-control it helps me to focus on the things I do have control over and having concrete actions I can take.
#1. You are going to have to decide where it would be best for you to live - either to stay where you are or to move back closer to your family (or a 3rd option). As difficult as it might be to move now, especially given all the other changes, also consider that you might have a stronger support network if you moved back to where your family lives.
Once you decide what makes the most sense for you, either way, you can start planning how to make that happen. This will help you to determine what steps you need to take with regards to where you are living, what job you have now or might take and how much money you will have to get your finances are in order.
Since you mention that finances are tight right now and it could take a while to resolve this, some companies will work out arrangements with you to pay your bills to help you get back on your feet.
But, most importantly, this is a time when you need to take care of yourself physically and emotionally. Give yourself time to grieve. You might be able to talk to your pastor about counseling and find support locally that way if you don't feel comfortable sharing your troubles with your new friends. Read and post here a lot...that is what Ojar is here for and lean on us for support.
Hang in there and keep your chin up!
Hugs,
mtmo
Re:My life is in Shambles riversandlakes: [quote author=prairie_princess link=board=1;threadid=9052;start=0#msg71607 date=1111115967">
We had just been at the point when we would have been getting ahead and he pulled out.
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I thought I can relate to this. When we started going out I made peanuts. I couldn't buy stuff and always had just enough to go by. I had to pay the house rent and utility bills. Mom lives with me.
With these 2 bare hands, 4 years gone by which saw me today at 344% of what I used to earn, and she left. Being 3 years 2 months my senior, does she not see how she had wasted these her own youth being poor with me?
I don't want her to leave. I love her too much :-\ :-\ I thought a woman needs to hear these and followed up by actions - I did. Why did she have to die? :-\ :-\
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Because we were here for lesss than a year, I don't have any close friends. I go to church, and I've made friends but no one that I have history with.
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Dear, somehow I can relate to this too. Within the space of 10 years I've been to 2 towns and 2 cities. Dear, history is really irrelevant. Friends, good and bad ones, are found everywhere.
Make friends whereever you go? That's for the best.
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My whole life feels so crazy and out-of-control. My finances are a mess, I do not have a home, or a steady job. All the while, I'm trying to deal with losing the love of my life.
Can anyone help me, with some advice on how to deal with this? I am so distraught. Before this time, I always had work and a home.
I am wondering if I should move but that's more change. Everything feels scarey, right now. I find it hard to see the future.
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You sound really lonely, princess. I am sorry. Don't look at the future for now. I know that is true for me. I have healed somewhat to the stage of being able to construct goals while walking in the misty cold, but the future holds sadness for me. I don't have a purpose for those goals.
Take it one step at a time. Work on the job as the sub teacher. Make friends. Stay busy. No one says heartshatter is easy work - except for the heartbreakers.
Princess, this too, shall pass.
