Fake it 'Till you Make It down2basics: This is totally worth the read.....Trust me!!!
"Act As If" or fake it, until you make it and the power of belief
Pretend to what is not, and that the passion's over, so you'll become, in truth, what you are studying to be.
(From "The Cures for Love"....Ovid).
The above words from Ovid the Roman are probably the first words written in connection with the principle of "Act as If" (especially in regard to the loss of love and letting go) although it was Professor Williams James who coined the actual expression of "Act as if" and the mind will produce your desire" and set off it's modern usesage in a much broader sense (at Harvard) early in the 20 the century....James found that sitting quietly in meditation for 15 minutes or more, and visualizing the desired end result focused the brain and body to seek out our objectives.
Many valuable ideas and insights are lost or discounted from one generation to the next in the name of "fashion", political and social orthodoxy and plain old skepticism ,only to be "discovered again" (and wrongly credited to the "rediscover's".)..
If you believe you cant then you wont..
Just about of all our self talk is negative.If we are to succeed it's vital that we to learn to replace the negative self talk with positive self talk and affirmations.
In life you don't get what you want. You get what you tell yourself you are. The best way to improve yourself is to change what you put into your mind. What you "think" determines what you do. What you do determines what you accomplish.
Athletes understand this. They know that what they put in their minds will ultimately determine how well they will do . If you think of each thought as a computer "bit", the smallest unit of information possible,then a number of bits(8) add up to a byte and become beliefs. Often these added up beliefs are irrational and untenable,they can turn round and "byte" you on the butt. They can hamper you and make your life much harder than it need be...they can stop you from achieving much of anything.
What you believe is extremely important. For example, back in 1954, the conventional wisdom and belief worldwide was that nobody could run the mile in less than four minutes. Roger Bannister changed all that.Bannister did what nobody in the had ever done (as far as the records up until that date were concerned) . He broke the four-minute mile barrier! The amazing thing is that not long after, several other athletes did it too! Since then, over 20,000 people have go on to run the mile in under four minutes. So what happened?...what changed? The BELIEF changed. All of a sudden athletes knew "If Roger can do it, so can I".
Most people never attempt or try to do something they don't believe they can do. The expectation that that "it cant be done" then becomes self fulfilling prophecy.
"How you act can influence how another sees you"
Often when we think about how we affect other people or vice versa, we usually think of the negative affects, i.e "he made me so angry"..."she made me feel so small".." I upset them"....we tend not to think about those positives things as much like smiling at another and perhaps brightening their day, or even simple things like the use of "please" and thank you" in our everyday dealings with people. How we act influences the way others perceive us to be can be used for either helping us or for working against us...but sometimes we "forget" the connection even exists....if we act morose then people will see us as being morose people and yet there are many people who wonder why it should be so....if we act angry and fly off the handle at the smallest thing then people are apt to see us in a very unflattering and fearful way...yet it is amazing how many people who wonder how their relationship got so sour overlook this simple fact or minimize and even discount it completely......People do form their impression about us by the way we act, by the way we come across.
Re: Fake it 'Till you Make It down2basics: In the city where i live and through out the state and country you will often hear this expression.."He has got more front than Myer's" (Myers being a large chain of home wear stores, something like Sears in the US...you could just as easily say Woolworth's or Kmart...) .This is heard in connection with people who "stack it on"..that is to say, that they "act as if" they have social standing and wealth, power and the like and they do it in a way that comes across as being real and not bragging or untrue(of course there is a downside to this, it is also what a "con" artist (confidence tricksters) uses to influence ,convince and fleece his victims.).These people who have "more front" tend to get better jobs, make better sales people and tend to effect those around them in positive ways.
If we act warm, then people will see us that way, if we act "confident" and in charge of ourselves then we will be seen that way as well....
Not long ago Dr. Ellen Langer of Harvard University set up an experiment to test the premise that "people respond to us by the way we act" (and shown in the BBC program "Human Instinct")..
This experiment involved the use of a hired male actor, a table set up in a room,two chairs either side of the table and a deck of ordinary playing cards...the game to be played was simple card game and completely dependant on chance, that bets could be placed on...Langer's premise was that the actor could influence the way an "opponent" playing him would bet....(none of the "opponents" was aware that the person they were playing against was an actor).
The first candidate to enter the room was was greeted (if you can call a limp handshake a greeting..) by the actor sitting at the table and acting very unsure of himself when he spoke, he rambled and left sentences hanging in the air, he would not meet the other persons gaze,appeared indecisive, he used statement about himself that suggested that he was "loser" ..the game got underway and it became time for his opponent to make his bet , and his bet was "large"....this was tried with several different "opponents" and the result was always the same...."large" bets were waged each time..
A second group of opponents was assembled...each was asked to do as the previous group had done. enter the room, play the card game and wage bets, only this time they were greeted by a smiling, firm gazed outward going and confident appearing actor...this time the actor talked in a crisp decisive way, sentences were not left hanging and the actor talked about himself as being a "winner", maintained polite but steady eye contact, and adopted a good relaxed though not slouching sitting posture....when it became time to bet, the wagers where always much smaller than they were when the actor "acted like a loser"...
When the actor "acted as if' he was a winner then people saw him that way, he was able to influence the way they betted against him.
"Impossible" successes come most often to those who pretend the same thing regularly for short periods of time and let it go in between pretend sessions" (Visualization, Act as If and Letting go),
Re: Fake it 'Till you Make It down2basics: "Letting go"
(from coping, org)
To ``let go'' does not mean to stop caring.
It means I can't do it for someone else.
To ``let go'' is not to cut myself off.
It's the realization I can't control another.
To ``let go'' is not to enable,
but to allow learning from natural consequences.
To ``let go'' is to admit powerlessness
which means the outcome is not in my hands.
To ``let go'' is not to try to change or blame another.
It's to make the most of myself.
To ``let go'' is not to care for, but to care about.
To ``let go'' is not to fix, but to be supportive.
To ``let go'' is not to judge,
but to allow another to be a human being.
To ``let go'' is not to be in the middle arranging all the outcomes,
but to allow others to affect their own destinies.
To ``let go'' is not to be protective.
It's to permit another to face reality.
To ``let go'' is not to deny, but to accept.
To ``let go'' is not to nag, scold, or argue,
but instead to search out my own shortcomings and correct them.
To ``let go'' is not to criticize and regulate anybody,
but to try to become what I dream I can be.
To ``let go'' is not to adjust everything to my desires
but to take each day as it comes and cherish myself in it.
To ``let go'' is to not regret the past,
but to grow and live for the future.
To ``let go'' is to fear less and LOVE MYSELF MORE.
_____________________________
If we feel angry and unforgiving, we can "act as if" we forgive someone who hurts us. If we feel cold and self-pitying, we can "act as if" we are warmly interested a in spouse, child or friend who has something to tell us. If we really give ourselves over to "acting as if", the mood we imitate can become real. "Acting as if" can salvage a bad day; it can repair or prevent a quarrel. Instead of freezing into negative and inflexible postures, we can reach for agreeable ones -- we can smile and so often "act as if" becomes "as is."
"We can also act as if we are happy"
A group of psychologists are conducting an on-going survey about happiness. When asked to rate their over all level of happiness, on a scale from 1 to 10, the majority of people indicated about 6,7 or so. Interestingly it was discovered that a divorce, or serious injury, even the loss of a limb, caused this level to go down a one or two points for a 1 to 2 years, but then it usually came back to about 6 or 7. Falling in love or winning the lottery caused the level of happiness to go up a point or two for a year or two, but then it went back to the previous level. What this implies is that a slight increase that could be sustained, was more significant than more dramatic life events. In other words if you find small things that make you feel good, and do them on a regular basis, your overall level of happiness is greater than if you fall in love, win the lottery. Seemingly little things that taste good, smell good, or delight the senses can be very significant when systematically included in your daily routine. Violets for the soul may be one of your best investments, especially if you consider the fact that people who feel good are significantly less likely to be tardy, absent, ill, or involved in accidents of all kinds.
Re: Fake it 'Till you Make It down2basics: Visualization..
Since the dawn of history, successful men and women have been using "mental pictures" and "rehearsing" to achieve their aims....
Back in the early 1960's when the Beatles has just started conquering the world with their music, John Lennon was asked how it felt to be famous...John replied.."Well no different really...me and the rest of the lads always thought we where famous anyway and that we were just waiting for the world to catch up"..John said he and his fellow group members had all ways "seen" themselves being famous and wealthy long before it really occurred. Although the Beatles didn't call it as such, they had been "visualizing" how the future would look, as they walked around their native Liverpool and down on the banks of the Mersey River.. ......going east in the other direction and across the waters of the English channel, some 290 years before, the child who was to later become Empereur des Francais (Emperor of the French) was getting busy "seeing" his own future as Great Commander and war tactician. Young Napoleon Bonaparte spent many of his day planning out great military campaigns and strategies, visualizing the whole thing in his minds eye. Another to use "visualization" is Conrad Hilton (Hilton Hotels group). Conrad used to "play" at being a hotel operator as a boy,a long before he ever bought one.
Re: Fake it 'Till you Make It JimB: D2B,
Lordy, the things I could do with the kind of time it takes you to type in all this stuff....
Good stuff, though. Ever consider building your own web site? I don't know much about it, but if all you want to display is text, it can't be that hard....
