Thin line between love and hate......

Thin line between love and hate...... Dunno: Yeah, it's me again. I have tried to stay away some but at this moment I need ojar. Woww is that something! I know I love my guy, but am somehow feeling I am betraying our children because I am strangling. The more and more I hear about the man in his body, the more I dislike, he isn't the man I married. Just tonight I found out he ran into my nephew and when my nephew asked why he don't call him ect anymore, his reply was "you have your head so far up your aunt's a##" well my nephew responded wiht you left her, you should be happy I take her to the doctor's ect. He sounds as though he hates me, or any reminders of our lives together. The only one of our children he talks to is my step-daughter, the one whom isn't talking to me now, she has daddy. The other four, well means hearing about us. I was resuning myself to the thoughts something had him "mentally unbalanced" with the loss of his parents, his brother and all......but really is it? Or is this how he wants to be? I know I have to go to the lawyer and all, but something inside me telsl me to wait, dunno if it is me or my children's thoughts haunting me. The man I married well he CARED, this man is hard with no emotions at all. Even when we first met, he was a drunk, cared about nothing but I saw through him.....I haven't the foggiest what has happened to him? I know this batch can't have her twat lined with gold (scuse me) How can she mean so much to him in so little time? She has helped him become this other man. I have questioned myself tonight and it makes me feel guilty. I know I love him, my heart wants him back, but this pain is oh so long, oh so hurting, I don't know if my emotional being would want him back? I am so afraid to face this all over again. Don't think I will have to worry though, will be six weeks this Saturday...our life as I remember it, is done. Please pray I go on.......Is it alright to hate the man I love?
Re:Thin line between love and hate...... Dunno: Hey girl! Yeah am still around here, just not knowing what to write or even HOW to anymore. I am numb as to how I feel, everyday brings a new emotion or shall I say a new story? The saying people talk is so very true, cause talk is all I hear. I do know I do not like the man I hear about at all. So callous, so cruel, so heartless. But I still love him, kinda a loosing battle here. You are right though, I will somehow get through this, because I am now facing the fact it has got to get pretty ugly before it even begins :( He has it in for me so to speak, why? I have no idea. I can say I don't want him back, but can I hold to it? There is my test, cause this hurting only gets worse.....and each day passes, I find out more. Makes me realize what a fool I must have looked like, been taken for. I freeze throughout my entire being when I relive those nights where he kissed me g'nite and held me, only after he had been with her I am finding out more and more. Little things, like when he and I visited her father in the hospital, helped her ect, all the while she was doing him!! OH God I am becoming so ashamed of myself even for having enabled him to make a fool of me. I will get by with the help of ojar and people like you. By the way, I hope your situation and you are finding it a little easier to get through the days? I think of you often.
Re:Thin line between love and hate...... Sittingbear: hi all...ohh..just two..maybe later some others will join in this stimulating and energizing sharing...in the mean time...excuse me dunno...I would like to sit here inbetween you and emotional yo-yo...yooo what's up.???.fancy meeting you here.
looky here ..dunno what is happening so I decided to stop in and see how your doing. I couldn't agree with you more about "Talk is all that is happening." Interesting don't you think? the way I figure it is ...Talking is great. Everything around you now is created from thought first, and then talked about , over and over till the core is reached...once it is met, the manisfestation is truly amazing...wouldn't you agree emotional yo-yo??? are you awake...mmmm??? hehehhe

Dunno.. time to get your power back...eh don't you think..take your power back, by talking and receiving the support ...then once you get that spark and make a little fire....then it is time for you to start collecting wood, something like finding positive people to support you and help you as you discover your answers to your questions...mmmmm... sittingbear falls asleep...zzzz zzzzzz zzzzzzzzzzz zzzzzzzzz