drinking trouble Dino: I have a problem with going out at the moment. I go out pretty much every opportunity I get. Just about every time I go drinking with friends to pubs/clubs. I have a great time but I can't really talk to people unless I have a few drinks. So I drink a few and my lips loosen and I chat away no worries.
BUT, I can' stop drinking once I start. I don't know why but I just seem to keep drinking and drinking. I'm a happy drunk so everyone loves me getting plastered except me the next day. My friends tell me how many opportunities I miss because I am too drunk to respond to women who come to chat me up. That really sucks. I've been trying to meet women and then when I do I am usually in such a state that nothing comes of it.
How do you guys control your drinking?
Do you think its a good idea to stop drinking for a while?
How do you approach women if you are a bit shy without some canned courage?
Maybe I just need a drinking buddy to slow me down instead of buying me more.
Re:drinking trouble Bocephus: You will learn to control your drinking as your confidence increases. I have had the same problem but am now tapering back as I feel I don't need as much liquid courage as I once did. Not that I'm a pro, but I had to think about this as well cause I was getting seriously waisted everytime I went out too. Tell your buddies to help you out by limiting you, or keeping you at a consistent level.
Re:drinking trouble OldSchool: Bitterdino,
I've had a ton of experience with this subject, so I'll be happy to comment on your situation. It took me about a year of going out nonstop to really figure it out. There was too much on my agenda at the time. Look at everything that's going on after divorce or being separated: you're healing, meeting new people, you're single, you want to be with women, etc... the list could go on forever.
I had a major wakeup call last November when it seemed like my whole life hit against a wall. I blew a ton of money, and my friends were very concerned. Yeah, I know what it's like to be the fun guy. Everyone seems to gravitate towards people that are happy and positive. Well, deep inside it wasn't really filling in the gaps, because I still longed to just have someone there with me... that's just how I'm built. It will die out if you let it... try to not get wasted too quickly, I know that can happen. If you're out then start off slow... maybe chug a glass of water in between and let your friends take the lead. Even if they give you a hard time, just laugh it off and tell 'em you'll catch up.
You're not going to really meet anyone to marry at a bar... heck it's good practice to just have a conversation. Don't look towards anything past that, and maybe you'll just click with someone.
Keep your head up. Trust yourself if you think turning away a shot might get you too tanked. Easier said than done, I know.
Good luck to you and be selfish when you do go out... don't worry 'bout what your friends think esp. if they raz you.
OS
Re:drinking trouble Dino: Often I see I'm getting drunk but think "its only 1 more". a few times of doing that and im wasted. ill have to listen to that little voice telling me to slow down a minute.
Re:drinking trouble OldSchool: I found it easier to talk with women when the group of friends I was with were really my friends. You're having a good time, talking, drinking, razzing each other... when that happens, it becomes easier to say what the heck... why not?
If there's a guy in your group that has to hit on everything that moves, then it just ruins it for everyone else. You'll attract someone on your own but don't think about it. If you have to sit there and rationalize what you're going to say, then you're already done. Just adlib it... it sounds stupid, but fun.
