The New Working Relationship... KeyWestCorona: This wasn't in the rulebook before I got married but its a real big thing now suddenly. Co-workers are apparently off limits as friends, esp. the opposite sex type. Its more of the reverse sexism in this country. If a woman wants to make friends with men at work...its perfectly fine. If you are a man looking to make friends...watch out. I never noticed this much in my life, because my mother never had much of a problem telling people what was on her mind...but apparently there are a large group of women that feel somewhat insecure about telling an interested guy that they aren't interested and kindly F*&K off.
These same women also take it that if a guy acts friendly to you and asks you out to lunch, he is trying to get in their pants. My mother tried very hard to teach me manners and chivalry. I have never been anything but a gentleman to anyone.
Sad as it sounds...I have been formally accused of sexual harassment by one co-worker and warned by a supervisor about another. The harassment thing was bogus...the second one had more merit. but all it was was asking someone out to lunch. So, my work now will be a robot-like existance where I have a completely "professional" attitude.
I am a church going, God-fearing man that thinks women are sacred. I have a hard time believing that I am such a threat to anyone. Its a sad statement on relations between the sexes in this country. I am a man, not an animal. For all the women that want to be seen as intelligent as well as beautiful, it seems they they do very little examination of a man's wisdom or upbringing.
If I have to work over 40 hours a week at this place to make a living, must I be driven crazy by insecure people and gutless management that only looks after itself? Its s shame that business no longer sees human beings as people. We are supposed to be little robots, doing our jobs and not doing the very thing God put a brain in our head to do...think.
Re:The New Working Relationship... snowyheart: Hey keywestcorona,
Damn, strike two. Shame on you for asking that female co-worker to lunch.
Seriously though, all you did was ask her to lunch? That's freaking ridiculous. I can't hardly believe that man.
Maybe it's just me and my amazing ability to charm any woman into submission, but I can't see how someone could complain for a simple lunch invite.
snowyheart
Re:The New Working Relationship... slowlearner: There is a link on the right side of this page about Sexual Harassment
http://www.mywiseowl.com/articles/Sexual_harassment
A quick read of that page doesn't indicate asking a colleague to have lunch is harassment, unless "the person doing it reasonably should have known was unwanted/likely to be unwanted and distressing."
This whole area of harassment is pretty hard to define in black and white, and is open to the interpretation of the HR department.
Whilst I totally agree that some form of legislation is necessary to prevent unwanted harassment, I'm sorry that your lunch invitation was misconstrued.
Don't stop being a nice guy, just try to pick your friends more carefully. Good luck.
Re:The New Working Relationship... soTiredOfHurting: KWC- man that seriously sounds messed up. Wow, I don't know the words to say. I hope that things turn out better for you. YOu know you can PM me if you need/want to.
Re:The New Working Relationship... Just Me Now: That totally sucks, KWC!!! I hate to even say it, but I work in HR. It's not all black and white, it is just a buch of gray. That is a very scary thing, in and of itself.
I shudder to think about how some of my collegues and I talk to each other (and they are HR too), if someone who did not know us would hear our banter. We like to joke around and talk trash to each, but only with certain people. Many of us are friends outside of work, but it did not happen over night. It is a very scary thing and unfortunatly there are people who take this too far.
I think you need to lay low for a while and let this blow over.
If you want to talk, you can PM me.
