Overwhelmed, scared and alone Smiley17: Tonight isn't a good night for me. I woke up about an hour ago (1:30 a.m.) feeling overwhelmed, scared, alone and lost. It's times like these when I start thinking that my stbx was right... maybe I really can't do this without him.
There's so much going on in my life right now. He's still not doing anything as far as the divorce is concerned and I'm so scared to make a move to get it going. My house has some damage to it from the winter and I don't know how I'm going to be able to pay to get it fixed, my car is falling apart, work is stressing me out, I don't have much time with my kids and when I do, I'm so tired and stressed that it's hard for me not to get annoyed with them, then I feel guilty for getting annoyed, I'm sort of seeing someone who I think may not really care about me as a person and I know I have to end it, but it's so hard to because I still feel so abandoned, my sister is pregnant with her third child (which she shouldn't be having) and all my mother cares about is her (it's been that way for as long as I can remember), and I just feel so alone.
I try so hard to stay positive and see the brighter side to get through, but tonight, I can't see it. I want to sleep but can't. How am I going to get through the rest of my life? I feel so cluttered and it's so overwhelming.
I have friends and I have family, but I don't feel comfortale leaning on them. I don't feel like myself leaning on them. I have my counselor, but with the kids, it's so hard for me to get to her. I some perspective because I've lost mine. All I see are dark tunnels.
This is so hard... :'(
Re:Overwhelmed, scared and alone snowyheart: Hey smiley17,
First off, I'm sending a hug your way.....there it just arrived. :)
I don't understand something about your situation. The last time we talked, you said that you had already decided to divorce him, right? So why are you so scared of a decision that you've already made? You said that he is still not doing anything as far as the divorce. Did you expect him to?
snowyheart
Re:Overwhelmed, scared and alone AmyMarie1972: Cant the ex have the kids for a while to help give you some time off. If not then ask your mother. Mine is exactly the same with my younger sister, she has always come first, but I still make her look after her grandchildren for a while.
I know that it is really difficult but you have got to stay strong.
Write down a list of all the things that you want to get done and say to yourself I am going to get these done.
Take control of your life. You start the divorce. I know that it is scary because it means that you are now having to let go of all hope. I know that feeling but at least when you do let go there is a feeling of relief.
You can do it I know you can and everybody on this site knows that you can.
All my best wishes and hope for a brighter future.
Take care
Re:Overwhelmed, scared and alone HDSquirrel: Hopefully you've gotten some sleep, Smiley. It's so easy to feel discouraged and doubtful when you're drained from the pressures of everyday life.
Find some time to do something for yourself this weekend...soak in a bath, keep the TV turned off, open the windows if it's nice...something. Remember what it's like to be alive, and enjoy it. :)
Much love!
Re:Overwhelmed, scared and alone Babydoll: Belive me Smiley, you need to take care of yourself. You need to think about you and your kids and it sounds like in your heart that means starting the whole divorce process yourself. We all know how hard it is. We're here for you.
I strongly urge you to make a commitment to yourself to seeing your counselor. Set that time aside because I couldn't survive without mine. He helpe me put it all into perspective and that alone relieves your stress alot.
Big, big hug!
