SERIOUS GUIDANCE PLEASE LonelyLady: My marriage has dealt with alcoholism, physical , emotional and very verbal abuse. The physical abuse has stopped for a while. I am seeking a divorce and I know he wants to contest it to gain custody of the children.
My question is this: How does a woman with kids and no financial means go about preparing and actually leaving, with or without fear of physical violence? What do we do? How do we do it? What did you guys do?
I know there have to be others on the site wondering where to start, so maybe this thread will help others like me. I know there have to be others who have gone through this who can offer advice, too.
Well.....I am ALL EARS! I am open to all suggestions.
Re:SERIOUS GUIDANCE PLEASE HDSquirrel: First, all my happy and good thoughts go out to you. Be strong, for this will be a hard step to make, but you can do it.
Now for the How...I'm hoping others will have more suggestions than I do, for I can only offer what worked for me.
If he's at all willing, seek outside help. Whether it be a counselor or mediator, or whatever, having someone to temper the tension will help when you decide to make the break.
If he's not willing, and you're planning to leave in a surprise-sort of manner, like when he's at work or something, see if you can enlist the help of some friends. I've known some people in the past who have banded together to help get a woman's belongings out of a house, and it was pretty funny to see these big burly guys helping out, in case the abusive husband should happen to show up. The woman was protected in that event. If you even know one person who understands your plight, see if that person can find others who can help. You'd be surprised how quickly strangers are willing to pitch in and lend a hand when it comes to something like this.
Have you looked into any shelters in your area? That's another option, if you've got nowhere else to go.
Keep yourself and the kids safe, chica. And good luck.
