Do you live in an “as is” or “should be” world?
As you can imagine I get a lot of emails from people on the
Internet. While I am happy to get feedback there are just not
enough hours in the day for me to reply to each individually.
A common theme struck me this week as I reviewed some of the emails
I had received.
Some people agreed with what I had said but there were a few that
felt, "Michael you might be right BUT..."
Unless I am mistaken, the BUT all but ignores anything I have just
stated so I am going to call this post, are you living in a "should
be" or a "as is" world?
It goes something like this...
On most issues of importance the world can be divided basically in
those that strongly see things how they are or how they should be.
Let me share an example.
As many of you know I publish a report called, "Get Over Your Ex".
It is about 50 pages and sets out a series of 21-steps that I
regard essential to overcoming heartache.
It can be found here,
Now these steps are based on my own observations and for hundreds
of people the steps have helped enormously. I frequently get emails
thanking me for the product.
But then there are those that have never read the product that
write, "if you have something helpful then you should be giving it
away without charge". Their argument is essentially information
should never have a cost and more importantly the Internet is a
no-cost environment. In other words, they argue their position from a
perspective of the way the world "should be".
The "as is" people know that time taken to create something should
be rewarded. They also know that "you get what you pay for" and if
the item were given away it would probably never be read.
Now I know this is a simple example but this also happens in
relationships. An example from the emails I get is, "my partner
treats me very badly but he/she LOVES me". They then ask in the
email, what should I do?
If you live in the world of, "as is" the answer is obvious and it
requires no answer from me.
However, if you live in the world of "should be" then you're
probably thinking, love conquers all and it is only time before
this nasty person comes to their senses and starts treating you the
way they are SUPPOSED to treat you.
See the difference?
I won't labor the point but next time you confront someone
complaining about a situation (this includes yourself) ask
yourself, is this person living in the world of "as is" or "should